


Obedience is Best Served Cold

by The_Sad_Palace



Category: Fable 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Big squick, Blasphemy, Denial of Feelings, Dom/sub, Exhibitionism-y Situations, Feeling like he deserves what is happening, First Time Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Hands Free Climax, Literally Everyone is Touch-Starved, M/M, Manipulation, Marking via Scarring/Biting, Narcissism, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Spanking, Praise Kink, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Size Kink, Squick, The Commandant really wants him to 'love' him, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Touch-Starved, Voice Kink, dog collar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:27:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24814549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sad_Palace/pseuds/The_Sad_Palace
Summary: *re-working this bad boy, in progress on first chapter*Throughout Sparrow's journey in the Spire, the Commandant proves that he is a patient man. For ten years he only uses a collar to shock them and never raises a hand even when clearly frustrated. I can't believe he never attempted other methods to get a good aligned Sparrow to behave.Five years in and five to go. Helix is attempting to survive a heroes test and still do what he feels is right. As he watches from the side lines, Blade wanders through Spire life with ease. All while he can feel the Commandant's grasp becoming tighter the more impatient he becomes.
Relationships: Commandant/Helix(OC)
Kudos: 22





	1. Cracking Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: Non-con spanking  
> IiIIIIIIi don't even know how to talk about this so I'm not going to try. I have edited this since I posted it to be a bit better. 
> 
> Welcome to the Sad Palace.

Five years of misery, what felt like eons of hard lessons. Of learning about what a disappointment humanity was. Five years of knowing it would be five more. Five more years of Helix wondering why he ever attempted to help Blade on his quest. Five years of him wondering why Blade hadn’t just given up, why Lucien didn’t manage to kill him. Why he wasn’t dead yet? Why was everything this way? 

The Spire hummed lowly with magic, lights and torches teaming. The Great Shard spun slowly, circling the upper floors. Some ice hissed and clacked against itself in the sea. Ships creaked in protest as they rocked in the choppy harbor water. He kept working, his breath showing up and his fingers squirming and tucking into his jacket when he wasn’t using them. He began unpacking another crate, kneeling as he rifled through. The dock was cool through his pant leg. Only three more to go. Then he could go to his bunk and hunker down with someone. There were always willing people, the uniforms weren’t ever enough. Even if they were brand new. 

“Helix.” He looked up at his captain, nodding. He was one similar to the Commandant, but his visage was far different. He fixed his hat as he glanced down at Helix with a sharp exhale. His tanner skin brushed out his jacket front.

“Captain, what’s up?” A decent man and a decent leader, Helix was lucky to be under 27’s command. He refused to give up on him when many others did. 

“The Commandant wants to see you.” His voice held trepidation. 

“Fuck.” He whispered into the crate, standing up. He still was taller but his hat wasn’t falling off looking at him now. “Why?”

“Something to do with not following orders. Your usual.” Helix looked down quickly, scuffing his foot over the dock. “You’re free, I’ll finish this.” He glanced passed him to the three crates. “Behave, Helix. He was not pleased."

“I’ll do my best, Cap, thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I hope so.” Helix didn’t much mind people not believing he would make it out alive after seeing the Commandant. He wondered sometimes, too. He took a cullis gate up to the Commandant’s office. He fought a yawn and wondered what would happen if you just sit down in a cullis gate? He yawned anyway, exhaling harshly as he was stepping out of the warm current of teleporter magic. 

His foot tapped against the frigid office floor, crossing his arm over his chest. He knew he was going to get into shit today, knew that he would be working mostly on his own. He donned his worse off jacket and set himself off this morning not realizing he would be seeing the Commandant and battling high winds. 

He had spent all day hiding behind boxes when he wasn’t doing anything and trying to get warm. He shuttered, walking up to the base of the stairs and stopped. He looked up at the Commandant as he finished a report with a signature and looked down at him as he sat straight. 

“Why must you do this?” He seemed rather aloof about it, but Helix couldn’t think of what it could be. He had really been attempting to behave these last few weeks. He could recognize that he was lucky to have survived this long without being a hero. He could also tell that he couldn’t keep up with what he was doing for another five years if the ‘game’ was right. 

“I…” Helix sifted through his foggy memories as fast as he could, likely looking very confused. “D-Didn’t do anything.” The Commandant paused, then shifted and stood in a fluid motion. He wandered toward the window, beckoning mid stride. 

“Come.” He scuttled up the stairs after him without a word. His arms still crossed over his body to hopefully hold heat.

“Yes?” 

“I asked you to watch the prisoners in cell block B.” He motioned across the Spire, toward it. Helix’s fried brain did a reset. He could see the Commandant watch the panic on his face. Holy hell had he missed an entire shift of guard duty? 

“Today?!” Helix huffed.

“No.” He blinked, processing the five stages of grief in a moment. Okay, so not recently?

“Not recently.” Helix tried. And once he thought about it, “Two… Two weeks ago you did.” His eyes fell back onto him and the Commandant tipped his head just enough.

“Yes, and I was just told you did not.” The way he said that made it seem like he did nothing all day. And add insult to injury, he just made Helix suffer a minor heart attack.

“You should have been told well before that. The Captain on that brig and I spoke, and I stated I had someone very willing to do the guard work. He and I agreed that he would rather have it done and allowed me to switch roles with said person. He should have reported that to you immediately, just as he told me he would.” This was going to raise hell for nothing. “I suppose I should have just went over his head.” He was going to be here awhile or have his ass shocked. A bitter taste in his mouth rinsed up into his head. He could feel chilled, acrid air settled on his brain like a sheet. He hated it here.

“I wished for you to do it.” Helix shifted, lifting his eyebrows and shrugging just slightly.

“Ah…” Helix shifted, struggling to find something that might cool the flames. “Well, that Captain didn’t.” Even a bit of a laugh left him.

“It does not matter what he wanted.” His head turned as he watched him out of the corner of his white eye. "My orders matter. Nothing else."

“Yeah. His wants did matter.” The Commandant’s eye narrowed sharply, then he looked forward out at the Spire again. “Matters what I wanted, too.” Helix wasn’t confrontational, but for Avo’s sake how much was one man supposed to take? He talked his way onto the Commandant’s bad side plenty of times. It wasn’t often that he really showed that he wasn’t happy with the Commandant’s disregard for everyone else. You could be as poised and intellectual as a noble, brutal as a Balverine. The Commandant would never give up his view point. It was like moving a mountain with a child’s plastic shovel. And to top it all off it was your least favorite color, too! He was in a bad mood, might as well make it worse on himself! Who cares, right? It’s not like he worked his ass off day in and day out while this fucker sat at his desk and fucked himself. 

“This is two weeks old, you never knew, and everything went wonderfully. There is no reason for a fight. In fact, maybe you should look at it as compromising with your men is healthy, and good for what you want done.” He tried to be friendly, but his mouth was pulling into a vicious smile and his fingers scratched at his arm. 

“Helix.” He could feel him staring at him as he sighed deeply, looking away. A sharp frown rest on his face now. Why let someone talk if you wouldn’t listen?

The Commandant was without a doubt a narcissistic bastard, likely insane, and probably had a whole host of awful things happen to him during his life. Yet, he was one of the most demoralizing people Helix had ever dealt with. Instead of using his experience, which seemed vast, for good he was just the meanest motherfucker he had ever met. No less, he wasn’t outright mean most of the time. He was snide, sarcastic and sometimes even childish.

He was such a difficult man that Derek, his own first Sergeant, knew him just enough to get away with a few things. The Commandant could brush him aside like a stranger whenever he decided to, however. And from what Helix got from Derek, he had known him for eight years, or more.

He wondered a few times if the Commandant was even loyal to Lucien. There were times he would do things that Lucien himself wouldn’t have done, or didn’t want done. Times when he said and did things that were the opposite of Lucien’s word. He decided that if nothing else, the Commandant was a deeply troubled man that had issues pouring out of the cracks he would swear weren’t there. Those issues bled into every inch of his life, and it bled into the ranks, too. Its toxicity seeped down deep, touching every single person under him. He wondered if it affected Lucien?

“I’m not starving people. Don’t act like this is a surprise.” He corrected his posture and dropped his arm. His emotions bit at his insides but offered no warmth. There was never a point to arguing with him, but he was starting to want to. It wasn’t fun taking bets on weighted dice. However, he decided to play today in his bitter anger. With his deep hurt weighing on his hand, he rolled. 

The Commandant wasn’t hard to annoy, but he was difficult to actually rile up. He knew he was ‘right’ and he knew he could put down those that opposed him. Helix could do it if he tried hard enough, it seemed like he upset him anyway. It seemed to him like he upset everyone around him. He learned if the Commandant got physically close and his voice was tight and louder than normal then he was thinking about escalating to physical violence. Thankfully, he had never hit Helix himself, but he could and did yell at him. That alone could make him shake so, why expel the extra energy?

He wanted to sock the Commandant in the mouth right now though, so his self preservation went out the window and he gave him a bratty look. The Commandant cocked a brow after jerking his head slightly to the left.

“You paint me as so brutal. Yet here I am, speaking to you about this _again_.” He faced him fully now, staring down at him with his forehead creased and eyes narrowed. His posture was tighter than normal but not dangerous just yet.

“Wonderful, I can’t thank you enough! Giving me time to watch you think of what you need to do next and then brush me aside! You’re not even hearing me right now. I’d rather be drowning in the ocean than in your office anymore.” The Commandant looked down at him with narrow eyes and slumped shoulders for just a fraction of a second. Maybe he was just bored. Maybe he got his kicks from Helix because he was ‘righteous’ enough to stand up to him. He didn’t do it for his own pride, or for righteousness. He did it because he watched people die because of his horrendous policies or orders. He wasn’t a good leader if you wanted your men to stay alive.

“You are joking, correct?” He wished he was. He wished the Commandant would screw with someone else. He wished he wasn’t the only one willing to tell this guy no. 

“Do I look like I’m joking, Commandant? Have I ever told you a fuckin’ joke? Let’s face it, I hate you. You hate me. Let’s never talk again, and you just let my Captain place me where I should be. Then you never have to suffer again!” An adorable, sarcastic head tip punctuated “again.” All that ran through Helix’s head was unspent words that wouldn’t affect the Commandant but would make him feel so much better. 

“I do not hate you. I tolerate you far more than I should, including your little ‘moral objections.’” He motioned behind himself. "You are here for the rest of your life, Helix. Perhaps now is the time to stop resisting me. We should work together."

“You aren’t listening.” Helix whispered, looking away. “I don’t want to even look at you, I’m not going to listen to you, just like you won’t with me.” 

“Helix.” He hated that he used his name now. He was sure that was why he did it though. Loved to watch him wince at his own name.

“You set me up to fail so often, you think I don’t see your lame ass games, Commandant?” He chuffed, a small sneer bolted across his right eye. There it is, he had his attention now for sure. “Are we children? Do you like hurting me?” Helix purred, shocked when he hissed,

“I do what I must.” That was it? Come on, admit it!

“What you must?” Helix spit. “What you must is governing your men fairly and with intent to do good for them. Your head is crammed so far up your own ass that you can’t see all you do causes them to be dysfunctional assholes. They all clamber over each other to avoid you! And that fucks everything up to the point of nothing is ever right!” He snapped a look at Helix, his already immaculate posture becoming tighter. Helix glared at him, relishing in the small victories of upsetting him. “Then you blame someone like me for your lack of leadership! Why do you suffer seeing someone as inept as me, anyway? Why don’t you just kill me already?” A small step toward Helix reminded him that he was only to his shoulder. Most forgot the Commandant was rather fast for how massive he was.

Helix didn’t, he knew exactly what type of beast the Commandant was. He ducked under a hand that intended to grab him. He scowled down at him, another step closer to towering over him.

“You just wish to yip at me like a little dog until I give chase.” 

“It’s not my fault you missed, jackass. Come on; try again." It made him irrationally angry. Something about the Commandant’s rash and acidic comments made his blood boil. Even though all he ever wanted to do was help he could count on his hands how many times he had praised his efforts. The Commandant didn’t desire help, he desired submission and when Helix didn’t fork it over it drove him _batshit_. He didn’t like doing it often, but he really enjoyed driving the Commandant up the wall. Their relationship was toxic both ways, but Helix felt a tad bit justified. 

“I should punish you.” That condescending tone had a twist similar to; ‘you’ve been bad.’ He supposed the Commandant could tell when he was egging him on. There was an edge that threatened a dog’s beating under his tone.

“Of course you should! I was honest, I compromise with those that I know I can help. I’m disgusting and vile. Not like you, who is perfect!” He even threw in a hand over the heart. “I deserve to be hurt because I’m not a narcissistic bastard that does nothing good for anyone on this fucked up island!” Helix seethed, nearly in his face again. Certainly in grabbing range. His expression was sour and deeply angry as he stepped toward Helix. This time he didn’t budge. 

“Keep barking, Helix, and perhaps you will not be so cheeky with me soon.” He glared at him as he walked around him without contact and returned to his desk. Bastard. Helix grit his teeth, wishing for a weapon. Sitting down? He would never expect Helix to come after him with a knife. He’d be dead on the desk.

“I’m done with you.” Helix hissed. 

“What a shame. I am not finished with you, yet. You wish to pick fights with me.” 

“It’s not a fight, Commandant. You know I can’t win. You’re just watching me complain and then you smack me down.”

“If you simply listened-” 

“Then listen to me, too, Mr. Hyde! That’s how an army fuckin’ works! We all work together!” He narrowed his eyes at Helix,

“You are nothing more than a petulant child.” He returned, his tone iced over. Helix laughed at him, he couldn’t help it. “You refuse to see the care I put into you because you wish for something else. Just because you cover your eyes does not mean it is not there. I have always cared for you.” Helix felt a sharp chill run through him. Hearing that felt wrong. Care? This isn’t near anything that denotes care.

“You!?” Helix cackled brightly. “Care? Do you even know what that word means in your extensive vocabulary? You use fancy words to speak down to everyone else, but when it comes your turn, suddenly you can’t fucking hear!” 

“Helix, you are asking for it.” He watched his fist curl on his leg. It fueled his emboldened, blind rage. 

“You have no idea what care is. If you did you would know how hard I’ve tried for you! For everyone on this damn island! You don’t give a single shit about anyone but yourself, not even Lucien!” He shouted at him, his legs locking to pounce. He wouldn’t do damage without a weapon, but he was ready to try.

“Enough!” He barked, slamming his fist on the top of his desk. Helix laughed at him when a stack of papers flopped over onto the floor. He sighed deeply, glaring at Helix like he had done it. 

“You’re a joke.” He glowered at Helix. 

“And what are you?” He asked, motioning to him and sending him a look that should send his pulse through the roof.

“I’m an idiot that thought I could help the people here.” He laughed a bit, angry and teeth gnashed. “You know something? You remind me a lot of a drunk dad. You just don’t **get it** as you knock back another beer.” Helix shook his head.

“And what did your father do to you?” Helix felt a twitch in his eye, felt a sting of memories, but repugnant thoughts dredged up even further noxious words.

“What, looking for something new to try on me? Wanna get your hands dirty finally?” 

“Vile little boy, do not tempt my hand any further.” 

“Then can we be done?”

“No. You must be punished for what you have done.” 

“Shock me already.” He challenged. Whatever it took to get him out of here. He just wanted to get the hell away from him before he tried strangling him. 

“Far too lenient for you, especially right now. You have talked your way into quite the punishment.” His voice sounded off, and his hand rest on the desk, tapping his middle finger quietly.

“What, sitting here, listening to you drone on about how I’m the bad guy? Insufferable, abhorrent bastard.” The Commandant’s fingers twitched. “Hurry up, get your hands dirty, Commandant!” Helix tossed his hands up, smiling brightly. Come on, don’t you love begging?! “You could set me on fire, you could strangle me yourself! Why not shock me with your will power, I’m sure you put out such a stronger voltage then the stupid collar.” He itched the skin that crawled on his arm. “Come on, don’t you want to hurt me? Don’t you want to see me dead at your feet?” 

“It is not about hurting you, Helix. It is about getting you to listen. It is about your obedience.” His eyes were filled with hunger, regardless of what he said. His finger began tapping harder.

“Dirty liar.” Helix spit. “That’s all you are! A faulty, egregious worm that’s sad enough he knocks his ‘kids’ around because you yourself are the failure! You spank them for breathing too loud and not in the way you want them to, even if they’re still breathing in some way! You demean those that depend on you and treat everyone around you like trash! You have men that RELY on you to be a LEADER! Something you seem to completely forget! You’re sick, Commandant. You need fuckin’ help!” He watched the Commandant shift, watched something snap over his face. Helix tensed a bit when his expression turned incredibly predatory. What the hell was with that look?

“Sit on my lap.” 

“W-What?” Helix squawked, stepping back again. The look he was giving Helix hadn’t been one he had ever seen before. Did he really push him that far? He was barely yelling or carrying on about how little Helix knew. He couldn’t be that angry.

“Your smart mouth has gotten you what you desire. On my lap, Helix. Now.” 

“You w-wouldn’t.” Helix rasped, genuinely he didn’t think he would. He would never lay a risque finger on anyone. Helix was almost certain he got off to hurting people, but he wasn’t a physical abuser. He enjoyed inflicting emotional and psychological damage. He wanted people to squirm, beg and cry. Not die under his heel. He had never laid a finger on Helix for any single punishment. Why start now? Maybe he hid it well. Maybe he found so much joy in hurting people himself he killed them on accident. He wasn’t really keen to find out. 

“Do not tell me what I will and will not do. You have already spoken so poorly of me, Avo knows what I will do to you next, correct?” He narrowed his eyes at the bigger man. No. No way, he would never! He didn’t believe him. He was **_not_ ** that bad of a person.

“You’re not stupid enough to pull this.” He mumbled. He watched his fingers dig into the desk and his own leg. His own upset must have caused him to be imperceptive to how furious the Commandant was. He felt a hot wash of shame. Shit. What had he just done? “You know people will talk if I tell them you did this. I have good standing with everyone but you. Everyone would know you put your filthy hands on me when I didn’t want it.” Helix bit out, trying to regain his anger. He hoped the Commandant couldn’t see the fear making his fingers dig into his skin. Why would he ever do this, this would only get Helix to hate him more, was that really what he wanted? He jolted as the Commandant chuckled at him. His talons stopped digging welts into the oak and began tapping loudly.

“Do not make me laugh. You would never tell anyone.” He felt his face heat up. “You expect me to believe you would tell people someone touched you? Your innocent, perfect little boy charade would be up. You would be nothing but a… Dirty liar, hm?” Why didn’t he keep his mouth shut? “Come, Helix. You must let me touch you in order to tell them, yes?” He pat his thigh, watching as Helix turned his head away. He cursed the sting of tears. If nothing else, Helix could take solace in the fact that he was right. This man needed some help. 

“No.” The Commandant exhaled heavily, his hand digging into the desk again as he leaned closer. 

“Do you think you can outrun me, Helix?” Helix took a tiny step back, waiting for him to spring up. He was worn out, and now he was scared instead of angry. He wasn’t running far even if he got out of the Commandant’s range to begin with.

“I-I… Don’t know.” He replied honestly. 

“Would you find it fun to be chased by me, right now?” 

“N-No.”

“Perhaps you should _compromise_ , and sit. On. My. Lap.” No easy way out of this. He had to make a choice, allow this to happen and try to remain as calm, and unaffected as possible. Or keep goating the Commandant until he did something stupid, or worse. If he continued, he was sure that whatever was worse wouldn’t be any easier. He frowned, slowly walking toward him. He did this to himself, just… Try not to cry. “Good boy.” 

“Shut up.” Helix spit, stopping a few feet away, watching his fingers tap on his knee. The other hand rest on the desk, clearly waiting for Helix to sit and trap him. He was shocked that he didn’t reprimand him for being rude, but he was sitting there. Staring at him. He refused to believe this was happening, that he would strike him that way. He was just trying to scare the hell out of him. He wished that he had never met Blade. He wished Lucien killed him. This was truly messed up. 

“Sit down, Helix.” His voice brought him back from his thoughts, as he glanced at his lap. Well. He shifted, hopping onto his leg away from the desk and sinking into himself. He balanced without touching him further than what he had to. Sort of like what a kid would do to their dad if there wasn’t another seat around. It felt pretty hilarious, if it wasn’t this situation. Felt like the Commandant could make his knee hop and send Helix flying like a kid. He heard the Commandant inhale deeply, then sigh. “Very well.” 

He glanced up at him as he pulled his jacket out from his body enough. Helix jumped, staring at his hand as it dropped back to the desk. “You are wearing a tank top that is not standard for the uniform. The jacket you are wearing is in tatters, as are your boots.” Helix shuttered as he ran his fingers through his hair with the other hand so he didn’t see it coming. “Your hair is extremely long and needs to be cut regardless of length. And you cry that I am not listening, and you cannot even follow a simple **_dress code_**. You cannot even keep yourself presentable.” 

“I swear I tried to get these things, I have a ticket made out from a month ago-” Jerk. I’ve never made fun of how you look.

“Why did you not bring it to me?” 

“I figured they did it because of you, you know, the leader?” Helix seethed. 

“I do not hate you, Helix. I am disappointed.” 

“I’m not yours to be disappointed in.” Helix rasped. “You **don’t** care.”

“Yes, Helix. You are. You did not even sit on my lap correctly.” Helix glanced down, then back up. He was always looking to please, even when he wasn’t. He shoved him off as Helix stumbled. He shot a look at him, just tell me to get off- His hand shot out and he grasped his right wrist. He yanked him up onto his lap without much effort. He slapped him onto his lap so his shins ran his thighs and his ankles hung off his legs. And all the innocence that Helix thought might stay was gone. He froze, sitting back on his ankles to try and stay as far as he could from him. “And you most certainly are mine. I most certainly do care.” Helix flinched from the cold breath that brushed over his shoulder as he drew him a little closer. He smelled nice. Like leather, tea and lightning freshly cast, but that was where nice ended. Helix retracted his hand from his shoulder for a moment in surprise. The leather that should be warmed by his body heat was left chilled.

He worked up the courage and pressed his hand back to his shoulder as he shifted even closer. He pressed away from him in fear as he seemed to almost hug him. A sharp gasp left his mouth as he was forced to the Commandant’s chest with his other arm snapping around his back and clamping down. Definitely a mock of a hug. Embarrassment and fear worked to ignite his nerves. His face was flushed a gentle pink, eyes wide and flicking around. 

“Every inch of you. Mine.” Helix bit his tongue as he brushed his chilled hand up the back of his jacket to rub his fingers across his back, surprisingly not saying anything about all the scars there. He swallowed down pathetic noises that would likely thrill the Commandant. “Physical pain never works with you, does it, Helix?” Helix dug his fingers into his tough jacket sleeve. “But intimidation and fear, embarrassment, they all work… Even _pleasure_ seems to work wonders against your morality.” Helix looked further into the office. “I have given you so much of my time for you to tell me that you do not think I have given you any.” 

“I-” That wasn’t what he meant, he knew the Commandant knew that. He knew Helix knew that. This was just a game. He was furious and he was going to make sure Helix felt this for a long time. 

“Hush now, I get to speak.” He silenced himself, hoping to be agreeable and not further the storm brewing. He shifted a little, biting his ring finger nail on his right hand. “Since you wish to be such a hassle-” Helix tensed. “And treat me like I am nothing but a fool, I have a small offer for you.” This is bad. I’ve never had a man offer me his lap and then something I wanted afterwards. “If you behave from now on, I will allow you to forgo any killing of the prisoners. If you will do everything else I command you to.” 

“W-What’s the catch?” Helix mumbled around his own finger, glaring at his shoulder. 

“If you do not follow my commands, I will take you up on your well thought out example. And I will continue on that path until I find something that works on you. There will be no more cat and mouse.” Helix scoffed quietly. “Quite pink, Helix. Perhaps my threats are arousing to you?” He jolted, gritting his teeth and sending him a look.

“Your threats, frankly, mean piss all to me.” He tried, jumping when his hand slid down to his hip. His hand immediately grasped his wrist but he couldn’t budge his hand. He just held it, glaring at him. 

“Do you disagree then, since you are so unaffected?”

“No. I agree, it’s smarter, even if I despise you.” What choice did he have? It gave him a little head start against the Commandant, right? Just behave.

“Now then, to punish you-” Helix caught his hand as he lifted it, sure he was going to strike him. 

“U-Um, m-maybe not?” Helix watched him cock a brow, gently pressing his hand back down. “Let’s just… Go with this.” He wanted to run away, screaming. What had he done so wrong for his life to go like this? For the Commandant to hate him so much? His skin felt like snow against his fiery hand. He couldn't place another time where he had touched his skin.

“I do not think so, Helix.”

“E-Even if I was to do things I wouldn’t for a week?” He really couldn’t handle something so traumatic right now. He just wanted to go to bed and forget this for now. 

“Hm.” He felt his hand go through his hair again spreading his fingers and watching the bright strands fall. Helix’s eyes shuttered like a camera and he felt his skin raise in bumps. “It seems as though I have your attention suddenly.”

“I r-really hate my h-hair touched, c-can… You m-maybe not?” He sputtered out. 

“If there is something you cannot do, it is lie.” Helix melted a little as he itched the base of his head with his claw. He exhaled shakily, his eyes shutting and he relaxed enough into his arm to be relying on him to hold him up. 

He looked at the Commandant through his messy hair. He was leaning on his other arm, hand under his jaw. He brushed his hand down his hair, and Helix dropped his head because he was sure the Commandant was watching him unravel in his hands and laughing about it. He did it again, catching a lock on his finger and gently twirling it. For someone with such large hands and that was so strong, he never pulled a single strand.

“How precious.” Helix realized he was pressing into his hand, almost demanding where he was pet. “Does that feel nice, Helix?” He couldn’t process both statements at once. He snapped straight with the will of a dying man. He decided to go with the second one.

“N-No.” 

“Really? I thought that was a face of enjoyment.” Helix shuttered, fighting flattening out his jaw as he scratched underneath it. “Just like a puppy.” 

“Why do you ruin everything you fucking touch? No wonder you’re alone.” Helix spit. “Are you done screwing with me yet?” The Commandant looked down at him, silent and still for a moment. He swore that maybe hurt passed across his expression before it turned predatory again.

Helix yelped loudly when he cracked his free hand over his ass. “F-Fuck!” Helix cried, trying to leap off his lap. He grasped his hair, yanking his head back flush to his back. If he didn’t want to tear his hair out, he was staying there. “You worthless leader! You’re a hack!” Helix barked, his scalp stinging. He grasped the Commandant’s shoulder, trying to get his hand on his throat but he was just far enough away.

“Why must you beg for me to harm you, Helix? Do you enjoy it when I hurt you?” Tears stung at Helix’s eyes as he continued the rough assault, holding him still via a tight grip in his hair and swatting his behind. Helix gripped his arm that was holding his hair, letting himself fall backwards and pulled his leg free. He narrowly missed the Commandant’s face with a nasty kick. “You never know when to quit, do you?” 

Helix hissed and snarled wildly as he let him crash to the ground. It winded him and the Commandant leaned down, grasping him by his arm. He yanked Helix up, slamming him onto the desk. His massive hand grasped his head and planted him roughly into the wood. Smelled like ink, varnish and parchment. He sighed deeply, gripping his scalp with talons poised to harm. 

“I was content with simply petting your hair, but you never allow yourself to go through something the easy way.” Helix gave a cry as he began striking him again, flattening his forearm down his back so he was completely trapped against the desk. “But if you wish for it the hard way, then I shall give it to you.” 

It hurt like hell, embarrassment raging through every fiber. He was too strong to fight now with his body weight bearing down on his back. But he was right. Helix didn’t stop struggling until quite a few minutes in. It took every ounce of negative emotion to keep squirming and hissing minor insults. He went limp, trying to calm his erratic breathing and his genuine sobbing. He knew the Commandant could at least hear him, if not see the drops soaking into the desk under him. If not see his body jolting and shaking. Anything more and Helix would have a hard time not simply passing out. 

A large hand brushed up the back of his thigh and across his bruised skin. No, no way. Frozen by fear and exhaustion he simply let him ‘sooth’ the pain. He gasped for breath and shut his eyes, trying to stop them from watering. He squirmed a little as the Commandant flipped him onto his back and his arm came up to cover his face in reflex. Tiny, pathetic whines left him as he continued to try and get a hold of himself. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t happen again. He would rather die. Helix whimpered desperately as he grasped his hair again, forcing him to sit up. Again, he seemed to rely on him holding him. Thankfully his arm spanned down behind him but it still hurt like hell. 

“Ow… Ow…” Helix gasped, reaching back and grasping at his fingers. 

“Are you quite done being a little brat, Helix?” All Helix could do was gasp a quiet,

“Mhm.” 

“Good. Now, just to be certain, who do you belong to?” Helix hissed as he tightened his fingers. He never wanted his father more. Never wanted his mother more. Fuck it, he pleaded for Blade to bust in with Garth and save him. Anything, anything other than this demeaning shit. Now that the Commandant knew he would be forced to pick and choose his battles carefully. It made a few more tears slip down his face. “Answer me!” He barked, as Helix struggled, placing his hand onto his shoulder and squirming. He was so scared. He was so alone.

“Y-you.” Helix gasped. His grip on his hair relaxed and Helix whimpered in appreciation. He felt pathetic, supposed that he was. 

“Good.” He let Helix collapse onto the desk as he tried to get his shaken mind to process what kind of danger he just put himself in. He felt lucky to be coming out the other side. Helix stood, stumbling up and crossed his arms over his body again. He watched the Commandant lean over the desk and quickly write something out. “Take this. Get a new uniform. Get your haircut-” He looked over at him, his eyes following his hair down the side of his head. “Get it trimmed.” Helix tried to keep the fear off his face. “And behave.” 

“Y-yes, sir.” Helix whispered. He went to take the slip but he jerked it away. It startled Helix enough for him to jerk away. He paused, then stated,

“Come to me, if anyone gives you an issue.” 

“Y-yes, sir.” Helix shuttered as he brushed his hand over his head with what looked like a genuine smile. Who do I go to when I’m scared of you?

“Good boy. Now go.” He had never ran from that room as fast as it did that night. Why am I crying? He is nothing but a bastard, why am I questioning if I deserved that? Helix ducked his head down and made a beeline for the uniform area of the Spire. He didn’t want to be awake any longer than he had to be. He glanced at the Spire, thought about all that he had been through. God. He didn’t want to die, but he didn’t want to suffer this hell for another day. 

“No reason to cry now. I’m fine. It’s okay.” Everything seemed distant, difficult to hear or connect with. He took it as a blessing and began seeking out those that could give him what he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I never thought I would post something like this but I suppose I fear no God, no Devil.


	2. Peaches and Collars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Non-con drugging and just the placement of a dog collar. This chapter is tame. Edited. 
> 
> Get it, peaches and cream-

It had been his every intention to ignore what the Commandant had thrown at him, just like everything else he had ever tried. He planned to simply get over it. But he realized that he had never gotten over anything he had done. He simply kicked it aside like all his other feelings and continued forward without a glance back. Now it felt like he was being strong armed into staring everything wrong in the face. He crashed, hard. Hard enough that guys noticed. He struggled to pull himself from his bedroll. He gave some rations to a fella that covered for him when he turned up late to guard duty. The Captain, 32 maybe, was furious. He was ready to rip into him and send him to the Commandant when the guy rounded the corner and lied. Just like that. Rolled right off his tongue and he didn’t even flinch. 

Helix cursed his lack of skill because it would be so useful to be able to tell these idiots things to make them contradict each other. The hell he would raise would be unbelievable. Thankfully the lie was strong enough that the Captain stopped in his tracks and fumbled, 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Helix shrugged and muttered, 

“Seemed like you made your mind up.” He forced out an apology and let Helix go. He thanked the guy later, he wasn’t sure how to express what he did, so he simply shoved his ration in his hand and muttered a plain, ‘Thanks.’ He took it in stride though, so Helix definitely saved his face. 273. 274. His and Blade’s numbers. This guy was 642. 

He was nearly late today, too. Anxiety at his heels no matter where he was or what he was doing. It was immensely frustrating and made him feel as though any type of emotion was a tax. He was ready to toss a white flag in everyone’s face and run.

What was enough to constitute a heavier punishment, anyway? It was so simple, so effective, so he didn’t ask why he did it. But it was a hell of a thing to think of and a hell of a time to start getting creative. Nothing like fucking up your kids or your soldiers. Maybe he should be proud of the Commandant’s sudden creativity. Get him a notebook to write down the ideas he came up with. 

His foot slapped onto the connections for all the docks as he wandered out from the gate. He inhaled sharply, enjoying the sea air and looked up toward the west where his breath traveled. A ship captain was taking his sledgehammer to the pretty, massive icicles hanging off his bow. They crashed into the rocking water and he peeled away the loose pieces with his hand. 

“Going back to land?” He called up to him. He watched him regard Helix, before smashing the hammer down on a thick cluster of ice. He watched him lift it again like it weighted nothing. He wondered what it was like to have power, not just physical but to be intimidating. To actually be strong. 

“Aye, ten foot waves, I hear.” Helix pulled his face into a tight frown. They had four foot when Blade and he had come. He was less than happy about that at the time. He smirked down at Helix with a Pop-Eye esk chipperness and a laugh. “That’s nothin’, lad.” 

“W-Well, be careful.” He tried. Of course, the captains were some of the safest. Not only would they be screwing Lucien out of men if they failed, they would go down too. 

“Will do, have a good shift, laddy.” He nodded, turning down the pike and for his post. With the new uniform it was far more tolerable. The wind wasn’t blowing thirty anymore, either, so the unwavering temperature wasn’t awful. His hair brushed over his shoulders inside his jacket as he looked up at another dock worker. He gave a friendly head nod and skipped out of his way. 

The barber had complained that new recruits had just come in and he just didn’t have the time for Helix. Same thing he had said a month ago when he tried to do things on his own. So Helix caved, stating if he wanted he could do it in a few days, now tomorrow. He seemed so grateful until Helix told him the Commandant ordered it and if he let him go to long, he would be hearing from him. He decided to be an ass and when the guy said he had time, Helix insisted that he would do it later. He didn’t want to rock the boat with him or anything. Watching him go sheet white was upsetting as it was satisfying. 

He had put himself on the line for others to such a degree that he forgot what a guilty, tragic mess protecting ones self could be. He felt as though the personality he had crafted just for the Commandant and people like him had been ripped away and burned. Sure, he had backed away from him. He had flinched and cried out in pain from the collar. But he never lost it like he had the other day, never felt so exposed and dissected. He tried to ignore the repulsive feeling of nails on his back. 

He truly got a lot of enjoyment out of his life protecting others. That was why he made the weapons he had, why he ended up with Giles as his ‘father’ and why he worked as a bounty hunter. He was proud of the minds he had changed, some far more important than anyone in the Spire. It was one of the few times that he allowed to feel a sense of pride. He was good at protecting others, be it humans, animals, or even the occasional sentient ghost. He really didn’t blame people here for not taking his side. He was attempting to create change in an environment where no one wished to. From fear, lack of care, or what have you. It was all so much easier when they weren’t wrestling the Commandant and his band of brainwashed Captains. 

Although he did have a few people on his side the hard truth was that the Commandant was right. He wasn’t about to tell anyone he had spanked him. Nor did he ever plan to tell anyone. He wouldn’t even tell them he touched his hair. What could they do, anyway? It would just upset them and put them in harm’s way. Something told him that if the Commandant ever found out someone knew they wouldn’t last the night. It took that brick-house bastard five years to catch on to what really screwed him up. What caught his attention was that the Commandant was many things, none of them stupid. Why did this take so long? If he knew it was going to work why did he wait? 

He didn’t have the time to think on it as his head snapped toward movement on the dock he was passing. He could see Derek getting shooed away from a ship by a crew member. He didn’t look quite right, by that he meant, well, it looked like a bandit. Derek sported a sharp frown and shoved him back once, sending him stumbling. His hand landed on his sword hilt as he took a fatherly tone with them.

“Come on, mate! You gotta leave, I’m doing you a huge favor right now.” Helix inched down the dock, placing himself out of sight but behind Derek. 

“What, like you’ll take the lot of us out in one? Walk off, coward. We’ll let you live if you don’t say anything. Or maybe we should just kill you.” Laughter and sounds of agreement rang out on the deck of the ship. Not his favorite thing someone had said to the bigger man, his face contorting just like Derek’s.

“You guys realize this situation, right? It’s a strong hold. An entire army fuckin’ lives here!” He shrugged wildly, “I’m saving your lives, now go!” 

“Just gotta keep things under wraps, right? Nobody knows we’re here but you, buddy. Just like we hoped it would be. Seems like your stronghold isn’t very strong.” True! But he wasn’t about to let them harm Derek. He sprung around him, surprising the hell out of the guy and ramming his heel into his knee and sending it backward. He squealed loudly as Helix drew the dagger he had stolen yesterday and jammed it into his chest three times. He shoved him over, flicking the blade around. An odd tingle rang through his body that whispered enjoyment. He fought it off and turned to Derek with a small smile. 

He was happy one of his many gambles went well for once and Derek gave him a shaky smile in return. He turned forward again, glaring at the men that looked confused still. 

“Y’all need to leave. Now.” 

“Nothing is ever simple, is it?” A highwayman lunged at Derek specifically. He drew a fancy, shiny sword that nearly met the sea as Derek caught it with his hilt and whipped his broad sword free from its sheath. A horrendous clang sent him spinning like a ballerina as Derek charged after him. He swore he could see him breath out like a bull. He shifted comfortable to the two men that neared him. He was confident in Derek’s prowess. Now it was up to him on his own. He parried a strike, watching the bandit fumble in shock. Shock was often how Helix made his kills, just like this one. He jumped closer, burying the knife into his back as he tried to reposition his feet. He dropped to the ground as his friend gasped,

“W-What?” He wasn’t alive for nothing, since six he had been following in Heroes footsteps. He might not be a hero, but he was the next best thing. Maybe he was small, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t good at what he did. He used the bandit’s freeze reaction to his advantage, springing forward and whipping around. His jaw caught his heel in a roundhouse and he stumbled, crying out. He went for the same move, but the guy stood up enough in time for Helix to impale him right in the head with the blade. He fell limply as static ran over his skin again. 

He sought more confrontation, it was beginning to feel like a salve to an ache. He was so tired of being punished. He shouldn’t want to punish others but it felt so nice to not be receiving for once. He looked up, lucky that he did. The Highwayman’s silver sword was about to pierce Derek as another bandit held him still. Cheap bastard! He pounced forward like a mother tiger and smashed his dagger off his defensive pose. Sparks and shards of metal shimmered from the collisions. Helix chased him a few steps, watching his panic rise as he was forced to back away from him. 

He ducked under his sword as he swung it horizontally at him in desperation. Helix stepped forward and rammed his shin into his privates, grinning when he shrieked. He stepped closer, shanking the guy at least ten times before gouging his throat with little care. He turned, violently throwing the dagger as it buried into the bandit’s eye that was holding Derek still. He dropped onto his back with a deep sigh. Helix found himself panting wildly, fingers curling as he tried to calm himself down. He noticed that a few dock guards caught on and were finishing the guys that got off the ship. The ship, filled with idiots, dreamers. But how stupid were they, really? If Derek hadn’t noticed them and they had gotten the right men they probably would have gotten what they came for. What a sick joke this place was. He turned, wandering up to Derek who sat up. 

“N-Nice work, kid.” He watched Derek stare at him for a moment, before offering his hand. He didn’t like the feeling he was getting from his unnerved stare. 

“Yeah, you good?” He replied. Derek seemed to relax, taking his hand. Even though the hand against the deck did the most for as he stood. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just a disappointing week, ya’ know?” 

“Yeah. I do.” 

“What happened?” The Commandant snarled, stepping onto the ship. His claymore was drawn, black liquid seeped off the blade and turned to small squiggles of smoke as they hit the air. Helix frowned, ignoring the deep swamp scent. He didn’t know what he augmented that thing with, but he couldn’t wait until he put it away. 

“A ship full of idiots wasting out time happened.” Derek waved him off like it was nothing. He must have been telling the truth because Derek wasn’t pestering him. He seemed intent on getting the Commandant to screw off. As the Commandant looked down at a dead guy Helix nabbed the dagger and placed it back into his pant line again. He carefully placed his jacket back over it and watched as the Commandant finally sheathed his claymore. “Me and Helix took care of most of ‘em.” He shifted a little nervously as the Commandant glanced at the guy near him. He looked at Helix without much to read. “You guys… Hear that?” Derek asked, looking at the ship now. “Like a lady cryin’?” He narrowed his eyes at the Commandant now. He was sure he was trying to intimidate or annoy him. He was still pretty bitter about the whole thing so he hissed, 

“Wouldn’t be surprised if they kept someone against their will.” As he stared right into his snowy eyes. He straightened up, tipping his head a bit in a ‘come again?’ motion. He didn’t say anything even though he could see he wanted to. Derek caught their attention as he wandered under the top deck and grasped the Captain’s quarters door. He popped it open and hopped backwards until he was next to Helix again. A bolt of sandy blonde rushed out of the room and proceeded to do NASCAR like laps around them all. 

It hauled to a stop, growling and yipping. It was tiny, maybe the size of Derek’s hand? Maybe some type of Chihuahua? It’s eyes were wide and bulging and it’s feet tapped loudly on the deck as it danced anxiously. It didn’t sound like the bandit’s cut his nails often. 

“Oh! Man, he’s so cute!” Helix should have stopped Derek as it hissed at him. He knelt down a little to fast and it skittered away from him. “Hey, hey, it’s okay! We’re the good guys.” Helix lifted his eyebrows once, returning to a neutral face quickly. Derek rubbed his thumb and pointer together and cooed at the little monstrosity. “Come heeere.” Helix fought laughing as it sprung onto his hand and chomped down with all it’s mighty four pound force. “OW, OW! SON OF A BITCH!” Derek cried, flailing his hand and knocking it free on accident. The dog bounced right back though, thankfully uninjured. Derek tucked his hand onto his chest and whined. 

He looked back down at it, wondering what it had been through. It was snarling so hard it was vibrating. He was sure it knew it’s old owner was gone via all the smells in the air. It was probably frightened out of it’s mind. Helix jumped as the Commandant walked up behind him, leaning over his shoulder just enough. 

“Quite reminds me of you, does it not?” Helix glared at him as he swatted the knife from his pant line. It clattered onto the deck as Helix frowned. He was unsure of the complete meaning but he was really starting to detest being compared to dogs. 

“Derek would have gotten gored if I didn’t have that.” 

“Perhaps we can discuss arming you after you _behave_ for some time.” Helix ignored him, stepping forward and scooping up the feisty pile of rage and fur. Though it was calmer, it seethed at Derek when he got close. 

“Man this blows, I just want to pet him more when he hates me.” 

“Seems like you and the Commandant have similar issues. You should start a support group.” Derek looked at the Commandant odd and confused as he walked off the ship. They both followed soon after, as he heard,

“Helix.” Called to him. He turned while still walking backwards,

“I’m late, do you want it?” The Commandant looked down at the dog in his hand with a sharp glare and a tense posture. It growled at him, hissing wildly.

“I do not think that would be wise.”

“Yeah, no. Not a therapy dog.” He turned back again, walking away swiftly.

“Helix!” Thankfully, he simply sounded bored. He waved over his shoulder.

“Always nice to see you, sir!” He called back, vanishing into the docks. 

He was extremely grateful to every single God and Goddess that he wasn’t followed. He really counted his blessings when he managed to find a ship captain that seemed utterly thrilled with the pissy dog! He swore to love him till the end and took him with him when he was leaving. He was lucky to have passed him before he left dock. It seemed like a decent day, the first in a while. 

Until he was told to go to the Commandant’s office after his shift. He shouldn’t have ignored him. Though he wanted to continue to ignore him, he knew he would only get harmed for doing so.

He popped into the cullis gate, leaping out into the Commandant’s office. 

“What?” He called, walking toward the stairs. The Commandant uncrossed a leg and stood smoothly. 

“What a nice greeting.”

“Look, I did everything right. If you’re about to try and punish me for protecting the Spire, you’re going to loose me.”

“Yes, a job well done.” Helix frowned.

“Thanks.” He stated as plainly as possible. “Anyway, you needed something?” 

“I am rather surprised you haven’t noticed these.” His nail tapped on a jar on his desk. Helix inched closer to be able to read the label. 

“Are you going to eat those in front of me?” He asked, cocking a brow and frowning further.

“No, they are for you.” Helix hopped up a few stairs before stopping mid jump. His brutal mood swings took a toll. 

“Why the fuck are you being nice to me?” He spit, his jaw tight. “I don’t want them.” 

“Come now, Helix, of course you do. You enjoy anything sweet.” He flinched. 

“Why? So you can screw me over and tell me I’ll never have them again?” 

“No catch, simply a small reward for protecting your home.” He eyed him, but when the Commandant didn’t even flinch he wandered up, snagging the jar and fork. 

“T-Thanks?” He tried, unsure how to handle this. His home, right. 

“Of course, Helix. Perhaps you are right, I should show you that I am on your side as well.” Helix smiled a little, though it was shaky it was… Really nice to hear. 

“C-Cool. Yeah. I’m just glad Derek’s okay. So, um, how did you know I like these?” Helix asked, popping the top and placing it into his pocket, standing over by the glass to look down at the Spire. The Commandant crossed his hands behind his back and wandered closer, but not within arms reach. 

“I do listen, even if you think I do not.” Helix bit down on one of the halves and decided that knowing he liked sweet things wasn’t creepy. Lucien probably knew and he had never met the man. “Have you forgotten to get your hair trimmed?” He stuffed the peach into his cheek and stated, 

“No, the barber was busy with new guys.” He continued to chew as the Commandant tipped his head and asked,

“And he simply disregarded you and you let him?” Helix swallowed, sighing. 

“I see him tomorrow, I’ve got the order if you want to see it.” He shrugged. 

“I believe you.” It was more than he had gotten out of him before, so he considered it another win and looked back out at the Spire. “You often look at the Spire like it is a work of art.” Helix looked at him, shrugging a bit. 

“Probably could be called one.” 

“Strange, for something you resent so much.” Helix looked back at it, watching the torches shimmer off in the distance as the Great Shard hovered over the third floor. He blinked a few times, shaking his head a bit to fight a yawn. He was right, he could get lost staring at it. The jet black walls, all the movement and life for something so dark. The pretty sea churning at the bottom of it with all the interesting ships and the sun and moon playing through the cracks of it. If nothing else it was interesting.

“The Spire is pretty, I can see value in things I don’t like. It’s like you. I know you can do a lot. You just won’t.” Helix clutched the glass jar to his chest as the Commandant stepped beside him, laying his colossal hand over his far shoulder. 

“I believe that your perspective on me will change. Hopefully you begin to behave more often, I do not see the path you have chosen right now being easy for you.” Easy? His life was never easy to begin with. Hard didn’t bother him.

“I’m working on it.” Helix snapped, rolling his shoulder once and knocking off his hand. The Commandant retracted it, crossing it behind himself again and muttered, 

“You do not know how dangerous you are, Helix.” Helix gave him a bit of a smirk, shaking his head. 

“I… I’m not?” Helix tried, a little bit of a laugh leaving him. “I don’t-” He paused. He had enjoyed hurting those men on that ship. He wanted to punish someone below him. He wanted them to feel how he did. “Whatever.” He blinked again, his shoulders slumping a bit. 

The flames and lights were beginning to double out on the Spire walls. The Great shard became two. A rush of endorphins and a lack of grip on his precious jar caused it slipped from his waning grasp and shatter.

“I...I didn’t d-do that on p-purpose.” Helix gasped, watching black dots blotch his vision. He stepped back, leg buckling as he crashed to the ground. Everything felt weighed down, fuzzy. He could barely put his hand to his chest as he gripped his jacket. 

“You do not understand the weight of your presence, Helix. You not only murder enemies much larger than you, you instill hope on those on your side. You have fought me for five impressive years, and continue to do so. The men see you as immune to me, the collar, and control. As much as I do enjoy our game, talk of a revolution has begun to rise. I want their poster boy well under wraps before they even start. If I must forgo our games to keep control then I shall, and you will face the brunt of it. Like always, you will be sacrificing yourself for others who do not care. Now would be the time to side with the correct person; Helix. Besides, I had this made just for you. I am sure you will appreciate the change in fashion. Now rest.” Helix felt his back hit the office floor, eyes fluttering. His vision went murky as he prayed that whatever happened, he didn’t wake up from. Darkness followed soon after. 

It only felt like moments later when Helix jerked awake. He tried to snap right up but flopped right back against the bed. He felt his head as it rang. Felt like he tried to wash painkillers down with whiskey. He blinked a few times, rubbing his face. He felt fuzzy, heavy, but not in pain. He didn’t feel violated. What a bastard, drugging peaches and goating him to eat them! He had no conscious and Helix sure as hell wasn’t trusting him again. He was certain all the decent words exchanged were lies now, too. It made him furious. It hurt. And it didn’t have to. 

He stumbled up, holding onto the bed as he glanced into a mirror on the wall. His eyes widened as he shifted. He inched closer, touching the collar. It looked like a simple black leather dog collar. Maybe two inches wide, but it definitely wasn’t leather. He couldn’t pin point what it was, but it wasn’t a material he had felt before. A small O ring was over his throat in the middle. It was attached via two other pieces of metal that came out of the collar horizontally and hooked around it. Helix wasn’t sure if someone could actually get a leash on it but he tried to think they couldn’t. And he tried to be grateful for that, really, he tried. He was expected to walk around like this? What the hell was he meant to say?!

He tried to remind himself that this wasn’t his doing, nor his fault. He could say that it was the Commandant’s doing, but that was obvious. Maybe if he had just taken the easy route like Blade had. If he had just let go of what he thought was right, he could have avoided being bashed around like this. He probably would have been a favorite like Blade. He was just to weak to be trying to play the hero. This was his fault. He should have just kept his mouth shut and his head down. Didn’t he learn that with his father? How could he make the same mistakes over and over?

He steeled himself and left for his shift without a word to anyone. The medic from the ICU looked at him but when Helix didn’t say anything, he left it alone. He marched toward his post, finally interrupted for the first time near the docks.

“Helix, what the fuck is that?” A few guys looked at him as he looked at the officer that asked him. 

“What does it look like? It’s a collar.” 

“Helix, that’s a straight up dog collar.” 

“Yeah. I know. It’s on me.”

“W-What-” 

“What do you want me to say?” He asked. “What would make you understand? Just shut up.” Helix huffed, continuing on his way. This was going to be probably the worst day he had in a while. All after working so hard for the Spire. Just because he worked hard for the Spire and not for the Commandant. Sh, lower your head, keep your tongue. Quiet, get over it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was afraid the bandit's would seem over done, but they're just that dumb in the game. I edited this once, I dunno how I feel about it but it is better than the first post so. Hope it was enjoyable.


	3. Humility, Humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: You get to see what the collar can do, plus a later non-con hand-job.  
> I worked really hard on this until I couldn't. I'm pretty okay with the first two segments but the third needs work because I just ran out of steam.  
> I've found a good fighting chance against burn out is posting this stuff and then obsessively thinking that someone will read it so it needs to be better. Then I edit it. Just takes a few days after I post. Lmao, pretty sad but, well, sometimes you just gotta keep trucking. 
> 
> Edit: Yay, I finally edited this.

He fumbled his arse off, jogging at the speed of someone walking languidly. His eyes threatened to close and put him flat on his face. He rolled his shoulder violently a few times. Jostling his brain a bit. Come on, up! He waved to his Captain who just gave him the singular head nod. He exhaled gently as he turned away, setting to moving whatever freight they had come in last night. He was lucky, he didn’t think he was going to make it on time. He wasn't sure, but if he wasn't on time the Captain let him go.

He knelt down, slipping his hands under the crate and propping it onto his knee. He stilled, staring at the wall for a moment. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to keep doing this until he died. His eyes slid shut after not moving for a few seconds. A few beats went by as his breathing slowed. He was about to give up and let himself collapse but a sharp, taunting voice made him jolt. 

“Can’t lift it, 273? Need some help?” His Captain was right behind him. He was lucky he didn’t catch him half asleep. He didn’t really know him, but he had worked more with him recently than anyone else. He frowned, his mouth tight. 

“I’m good.” He huffed, lifting it like it was heavy. He spun, wandering away with it. A haze of exhaustion coated him and time passed in strange, stuttering ways. He surrendered to the storm and ran on autopilot controlled by instinct. He should have been concerned with putting things in the wrong place. Though he had been there five years and many of his days were moving freight and controlling what went where. Or smithing. After a few times of denying the Commandant, he did limit the number of times he tried to push Helix to do something he wanted. He knew Helix was better up and moving than in the ICU. He was sure he was fine. 

It was nearing break when he turned, looking toward the upper floors. He blinked, his forehead creasing. He watched the Great Shard disappear outside of the walls of the Spire. He had never seen it leave before. Blade and Garth were here, so what did it matter? He froze. What if it was going after Hammer? This plan didn’t seem like the plan of a man with years of education and deep knowledge of the way that this tower of Hell operated. It seemed like the plan of a desperate dreamer. Sure, Lucien was turned to that once his family died. He didn't blame him. Then again he knew that Theresa had her own hands deep into this whole puppet show. He sort of wished he could talk to him. What if he could manage to change his mind?

“273.” Helix turned, looking at the Captain standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“I’ve never seen a Shard leave.” 

“Yes, official business. None of your concern.” 

“R-right.” Helix smiled, decided in his stupor to try and make friends with a Captain he didn’t even know the number of. “Wanna have a lifting match, mate? I was kidding earlier.” The Captain narrowed his eyes at him, chuffing. 

“My job is to keep you worthless dogs in line, not play games. You do the jumping, not I.” His smile vanished, shaking his head a bit.

“Right.” He hissed, turning and walking away. 

“Something you wish to say?” 

“What’s your number again?” He asked, pausing. He turned to him with a lingering stare.

“What? You don’t know it?” Helix smiled, tipping his head fast and righting it.

“No, I don’t care very much.” He watched something bolt over his face. “What is it?” He could feel the glare, and the annoyance that caused his voice to become tighter. 

“81.” 

“Huh. You’re a baby. Couple of months, right?” Helix muttered. When he didn't reply he continued, “Look, Cap. I’ve been here far longer than you. Regardless of your status, I know what works and what doesn’t. If you want to have any sort of success with your men and how far they will go for you, I suggest that you don’t follow the Commandant’s example. _Try_ some empathy, and for fucks sake don’t _try_ someone that is in the two hundreds. I’m here for a reason. You haven’t proved yourself yet.” He took his silence as ‘I should probably think about that.’ He went to go back to work again but he jolted as he wrapped his larger hand around his elbow. 

He turned, his eyes wide and frightened as he mashed his heel down on the top of his foot. His right hand swung and popped him right in the mouth without him really meaning it. He backed away with a shaky stumble as the Captain reeled back. His hand covered the side of his face, then shifted to his nose. His eyes were hazed and scrunched with water. He had never struck a Captain before, as he almost grabbed his hand looked fearful, he grounded his feet and snarled. He began inching toward him.

“273.” He gasped,

“Yeah, that’s right. Five years of my life, maybe that number doesn’t mean anything to you. Maybe I don’t mean anything to you, that’s fine. They’re adding men in the high 900’s. I don’t think you understand what Hell I went through to get some wannabe Captain that doesn’t know what he’s doing. I AM superior to you and you will treat me with respect. Get off my ass and bother someone else!” He recoiled, standing up straight again with utter disbelief on his face. He probably never expected anyone to stand up to him, no less someone as small as him. He pointed at him with the might of a schoolyard bully and bit out,

“I’ll send you to the Commandant for your insolence! I am sure he will be pleased that you are once again unable to behave!” Holy shit, he was as good as dead.

“You send me to the Commandant and I’ll rip those fucking shards out of your head!” Helix shouted, marching closer now. 

“W-What are you-” He railed his knee into the Captain’s privates as he doubled over. He grasped his head with his hands lacing through the shards. This Captain wasn't anywhere near what a Captain should be. He should be fighting me off right now. Instead, he stood there shaking. 

“I will twist your nut-sack into a bow and leave you at the Commandant’s stairs. Keep your forked tongue behind venomous lips. Stop. Harassing. Me.” He could see the panic in his eyes, as he grasped his arm and pried. A few of his workmates had gathered, chattering nervously. 493 was particularly upset, pacing a bit. 

“Helix, Helix, this is huge! This is SO bad!” 

“I don’t give a shit.” What a bald-faced lie! He looked down at him, “Be a good leader or-”

“What?” He snarled, “Off myself? Like you wish you had the courage to do?” He was clearly terrified, talking out his ass like Helix did to the Commandant. He could understand why he could get so upset now. “Why don’t you do us all a favor and crawl into your favorite corner and rot like you wish to! You strike me the type of fool that would kill himself with a grin!” Helix popped him in the mouth and brought up a hard front kick to his chest. He crashed backwards as he sat up on his elbow, gasping. 

“Helix, you gotta stop!” 

“I’m going to massacre you!” He shrieked, throwing himself forward and getting only about a step before the air seemed to condense around him. It tightened down on him like a vice. His eyes snapped wide as he felt the collar on his throat crackle, then explode. An inconceivable scream ripped from such a small source. Blue light violently dipped into the scratches and jagged edges of the ceiling and floor around him. Everyone including the Captain inched away. Looking between the other as the vicious punishment tore at him. His arm was locked over his chest and the other spanned down, pulling his wrist back toward his arm so hard he was sure it would break from the force. 

The pain became transcendent as his vision popped like a firework. The collar gave, and the air around him seemed to relax swiftly. It felt like it had been supporting him through that. Once it was gone he tumbled to his back loudly. His agony displayed a rapid breathing pattern. The other collar was torture, but there had never been a pain Helix had felt like this. The scars on his back were easier to take. 

“Holy Hell.” Derek slid in on his knees and picked up his head, cradling it in the palm. “Kid, talk to me.” His mind was wandering in a far away land. Somewhere where the Spire wasn’t real. He closed his eyes, a picture of Garth flashing by. Shouldn’t he be able to do something like that? Why didn’t he do that to the Commandant? He wouldn’t have been captured. His hand buried into Derek’s jacket sleeve. He was useless, why were they trying to save him? For a hero, anyone could do better- No. That’s wrong. If the Commandant never touched Garth, we wouldn’t be here. He had that problem, touching and destroying things he shouldn’t. “Helix, you gotta talk to me or I’m takin’ you to the medic.” Derek hushed. 

“‘M fine.” He slurred, sitting up with Derek’s help. His head felt full of water. He stood slowly, wrapping an arm over his front. Every time he moved it felt as though every separate fiber of muscle grated against the other. He looked down at the Captain with the rage of a wounded wolf. “I’m not ready to die yet. Sure as hell hope you are.” He turned, abandoning his post while keeping himself straight. The moment he turned the corner he rammed into the wall and slid halfway down. Everything was swimming, lines coming from the ground like it was smoldering. He slipped into a storeroom and collapsed onto his side, curling up as tight as he could. He put his hand through his hair to keep it away from his face and just tried to get as much air into himself as possible. Again, time turned into something unreal and he startled at a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, it’s just me.” He glanced up at Derek and let his head flop back down, having little energy to hold it up. “Alright, I got your duties, just stick around. I’m going to try and solve this.” 

“It’s my fault.” Helix mumbled. 

“And you would skin your ass to see me not get shit. Damned if I won’t do it for you.”

“Mmm.” 

“Just rest.” With permission, he closed his eyes, and when he opened them it was another hand on his shoulder. 

“Fuck, kid. Wake up.” He looked up at Derek. He hesitated. “I tried, but that coward went to the Commandant. I did too, but he wouldn’t listen to me. I don’t understand why the hell he just can’t get that he antagonized you. Anyone else would be left off the hook.” Most of the time, probably to deal with it, he was snarky about it. Anger sat on his body and despair on his face instead. He flinched, covering his mouth as Derek panicked. “Easy, easy-” He grasped a bucket, helping Helix sit up slowly. He leaned on him, trying to get himself together. “Do you want me to carry you-”

“I c-can’t. I have. I have to show that I’m tough.” 

“Helix, they both know that.” He looked at him. “That’s why he’s beating up on you. You scared the piss out of him.” 

“C-can’t let up.”

“Let me walk you close.” 

“Okay.” He nodded. They stood as Helix rooted his feet and exhaled hard. He managed to dissociate while walking and just let his body carry him close enough to the office. Derek nodded and let him walk away as he managed to get up to the office door and crash into the wall. He swallowed, placing his hand onto his skipping heart. I don’t want to do this. That Captain was right. I’m a fucking coward, and I would rather die than face any more of this abusive bullshit. But he simply continued, pushing himself off the wall and walking into the cold office with his head down and his arms struggling to keep him up. 

“You truly thought to threaten a Captain was wise? And it took you this long to-’ Helix collapsed onto his knees, holding himself up with his palms flat to the ground. He could hear him march closer. 

“Don’t touch me.” Helix hissed, looking up at him with flaming distaste. He stopped but stayed as close as he had gotten. The Captain remained deeper in the office. He looked at him, his rage slipping through grit teeth. “He’s a fuck up and a coward. Your superiority complex will get your men killed.” He could feel him stare down at Helix as he returned to trying to breathe. He knew he had been nothing but outright nasty since he placed the collar on him, but if he expected Helix to become nicer then he was stupid. Slowly, Helix stood up again. 

“Helix.” He reprimanded sharply. They locked eyes as he planted his feet to keep himself from rocking. 

“I should have killed him when I had his head in my hands.” He watched the Commandant lift his chin and stare at him from down his nose. His body was at full attention with one hand resting on his sword hilt. Huh, he was packing today? Normally he didn’t. How funny would it be if it was because of him? He must have felt the heat of Helix’s glare because he turned to the Captain and waved him off. 

“Begone.” He tried to walk passed Helix with a tough front but Helix spit right on him as he jerked away, eyes wide and full of fright. “Helix!” The Commandant sounded absolutely aghast. 

“You better hope he kills me. Screw with me again and I’ll mount your fucking head on the wall.” He turned, jogging away from him as Helix dropped his stance again, holding his arm over his chest tightly. He bristled at the Commandant when he got within arms reach. He let him grasp just above his elbows and drag him into him. He grasped his jacket and clamped down with all he had. 

“You threatened a Captain five days after I punished you and you spit on him right in front of me?” Helix just gave up, becoming further limp. He didn’t make a sound as he jostled him. " _Are_ you aroused by threats?” Helix blinked slowly, his face neutral as he could keep it. He tried to let his words go through him. He shut his eyes tightly to keep himself from gagging. Even behind his eyes were too bright. “Answer me, Helix.” He flinched as he nearly picked him up, forcing him to try and balance on his toes. Helix glared up at him, I know your screwed up games. It doesn’t hurt because I know what you’re doing. It doesn’t hurt. “You cannot be this depraved. Why did you do this?” 

“He needed to be reminded of his place.” He rasped, using the exact same rhetoric that the man shaking him around did. 

“He is higher in command than you.” It wasn’t angry, but more confused. 

“No.” Was all Helix stated, jerking free of his hands. “Get off me.” He swat for his arm but Helix skipped back quickly, hitting the stairs and crashing backward. By the time he looked up, the Commandant was standing on a stair. He was hovering over him in a ‘Captain Morgan’ esk stance. 

“Yes. He is.” 

“I’ve been here longer.” 

“That does not matter when you cannot behave.” 

“Yes, it does! Your shit rules don’t stop me from knowing what I’m doing. He wants to follow in your footsteps. Well, keep the useless cunt!” 

“Helix.” He rocked back on his heel, eyes wide. Helix did often swear, he picked it up off the other sailors and older men. But it seemed the Commandant was surprised with his animosity. 

“He would be a good doormat for you. I give it ten minutes before you’re trying to strangle him. Don’t expect me to take the garbage you wouldn’t. Oh, wait!” Helix smiled brightly. “You expect me to happily take any abuse. I'm not allowed to return the fire.” He looked up at him with malice dripping off him, almost bringing his leg up to smash on his face. He caught above his knee and pinned it back down. 

“If you try to kick me, Helix, so help me I will throttle you.”

“Fine. You want to ask me things and get a good answer, let’s talk.” The Commandant sighed, leaning on his knee with his forearm. His shadow loomed over him. It was almost nice, cutting the light. 

“Very well. What can I do for you?” 

“What is this thing?” He huffed, pulling on the collar. “Why the look, what the fuck is wrong with you, huh? Why are **you** so depraved?” He frowned tightly,

“Yes, well I did not expect anyone else to use it on you. No Captains have ever done this. I believe he was simply too green to deal with you.” 

“Answer me, you giant rat bastard!” Helix barked, sitting up a bit. He looked down at Helix, leaning closer. 

“It is meant to keep you in line. The other collar did not do a good enough job. The material and type of collar was made for unruly Captains. I did not understand the strength of it but was under the impression that when I used it, you would be with me. And I could solve whatever went wrong.” 

“Of course, you’re a regular hero.” The Commandant gave him a look. “Why does it look like this?”

“You need to be humbled.” 

“Ah, just turn me into an actual Captain. I’ll stop wanting to be seen after I look like you.” Helix spit. The Commandant recoiled. “That’s for making fun of my hair.”

“You remember the smallest of things and turn them into full-scale arguments. And I rather like your hair."

“Like hell you do. I’m depraved, Commandant. I’m bored and lonely. Why can’t you see I just want your attention!” He spit. “I just love it when you punish me for things others blatantly get away with. Something about how you step on me and grind me into the floor!” Helix cackled, “Can’t tell me I’m a coward!” 

“I have never called you a coward.” He replied tightly, looking like the last time he saw him. He just stared at him. “I must force you to behave somehow, Helix. I do not have a choice. If nothing works then I must try something that I have not.”

“I told you.” Helix rasped. “Be good to your men, show empathy, and stop being such a hypocrite when it comes to rules. If you can’t show any empathy for any living creature then I am completely useless to you. 

“Everyone can have their mind changed.” 

“Will I ever change yours?” Helix prodded, and when he was silent for too long he barked, “Stop wasting my time!” 

“You and I would make a fantastic team, Helix-”

“HA!” He kept laughing.

“I have mentioned it before, and I will continue to. Why not take a break from pretending to be so strong? Side with me, no more games. All I ask for is your loyalty.” 

“And will I get yours?”

“You have mine, I am not the one running over the relationship.” Helix burst into further laughter, his other leg narrowly missing him. The Commandant leaped away, backing down the steps. 

“Your loyalty is worth _nothing_ to me.” Helix spit, “You mean _nothing_ to me. I don’t want a single thing to do with you, and I would die happy if I never saw you again. Get it through your fucked up head, I don’t WANT to be partners with you. I don’t want to work with you, and I never will. You should assign me to Captain 27 and forget about me.” 

“I already have you, you are mine.” He replied with just as much venom. “You will not admit it. You belong right here!” He pointed beside himself. “Not working with some Captain, if you would only give up your moral foolishness, you would be such a powerful ally. You **will** come around.” He stared down at Helix, his posture and breathing told him he was half a second from coiling around him like a Boa and clenching the life out of him. 

“That Captain was right. I would rather die than work with you. I hope you know not only my death will be on your hands, but countless others that ‘could have been such a powerful ally.’” Helix shifted, standing up slowly. “I can’t wait until these people band together and rip you apart, piece by piece.” The Commandant tightened his posture as Helix stumbled passed him. “You are a failure, and you will die someday knowing that you couldn’t pretend hard enough to change that.” 

“I will ensure no one else uses your collar but me-”

“You aren’t fixing any of this.”

“Perhaps not, but I still wish it to be this way.” 

“Dismiss me. I can hardly stand.” 

“Then stay here, I can-” Helix slapped his hand away. 

“Don’t you try and play nice. You can’t make me hate you any more than I do, enough is enough!” He stepped back, watching the Commandant freeze. It seemed his decree on how he felt stopped him in his tracks. Helix turned, leaving as the door rolled up without the Commandant moving. He barely made it to his bunk before he dropped in a heap and closed his eyes, immediately out. 

**~_~_~_~_~_~_**

“Helix, are you alright?” He looked up at 27. He was grateful to be placed back in his care, he was concerned that he might snap if he was put back with 81. 

“Uh, I don’t think someone is doing this right.” Helix motioned to the very obvious lack of care. Crates were simply tossed into the dock space and clearly unmarked and uncared for. 

“Great.” Helix giggled a bit at his blasé delivery. He watched 27 lament for a long moment. "And now we must fix it or it will be our head." Helix nodded.

"I can do it."

"You shouldn't have to." 27 hissed. "I know you are furious with him, but would you be willing to go and get-" He looked up. "My side, now." He whispered. Helix tensed, skipping over beside 27 as the Commandant stepped up where he would have been. “Commandant, I was just thinking of you. Seems that people need to be retaught how to handle down here.” He looked down at Helix, “Not Helix.” He corrected, shaking his head. “Anyhow, we are having issues with those trained recently not being correct. These were left for us. What do you think the best course of action is?” 

“I will be sure to speak to the Captain that is training the new recruits.” Helix looked up him, 

“Cap.” Helix whispered. "Fight." 

“Ah, and also, there was a fight on dock 3. I took care of them if you wish to continue their punishment. 612 is in the ICU, and 648 is in the detention center.” 

“Is he always so helpful to you? It must be such a lovely thing.” Helix looked highly uncomfortable, 27 handled it with grace. 

“Indeed, he is. How can we help you?” 

“Helix.” 

“M-morning.” He stumbled out. He felt bad for how he had treated him. He was just hurt, he felt like he was nothing. Doing that to someone and then offering your partnership wasn't the best way to make friends. Maybe he shouldn’t feel bad, but the guilt lingered.

“You must come with me. We have something to discuss.” 

“Do you think you could allow him to work and come to you after?” 27 tried. “I will be short by three men if you take him. I have quite the workload to take on. Taking my best man would not be fair.” 

“This is rather important. I will send you a few men.” 27 nodded once. 

“You best.” They seemed to bristle at each other, hackles raised.

"Guys." He tried. He looked down at Helix,

“Behave.” Helix smiled a bit. Considering what you just did? 

“D-Doing my best.” 

“Then you’ll do fine.” He replied, motioning. “Please do not neglect to send some men my way.” 

“I will be sure of it.” The Commandant replied, turning and walking away swiftly. Helix jumped into a jog to keep up with him. 

“Yeah?” He asked, 

“I am furious with you.” Helix startled, 

“W-Why?” He asked. “I-I’ve done everything that I should.” He sent him a sharp look, 

“Oh? And perhaps a little extra?” Helix frowned tightly, wondering what the fuck he meant. 

“I-” He shook his head. “I mean, anything I say at this point is only going to make you angrier.” He was trying to learn not to implicate himself. He paused by the Cullis gate, motioning for Helix to go through with his head. He sighed, jumping through and wandered up toward his desk. 

“You burned down an entire building. You burned down the blacksmith.” Helix turned to him with wide, wild eyes and defeated posture. It was so whacky that he couldn't even yell back at him.

“No. I didn’t.” 

“Helix Eli Stayer-” He flinched down, tucking his head down. Oh, he hated that. How did he learn his full name? He was pretty sure only Bob, Blade, and Derek knew it. Like everything else he knew, it was probably just him listening. Creepy jerk, always standing just outside a closed door. “Do not lie to me!” He was already shouting. This was probably the angriest he had ever seen him toward him. 

“I’m not, I swear! You know I can’t lie, and you know I’ve told on myself plenty of times! I wouldn’t burn down a building!” 

“Men saw you leaving! Two Captains claim you smelled of gunpowder and the building went up immediately after.” 

“I wouldn’t do that!” Helix cried, backing away as he neared him. “I could have hurt people! I would have waited until night.” Good job not implicating yourself. 

“People saw you, Helix.” 

“That doesn’t mean it was me! It could have been anyone! You even said people were talking about a revolution!” 

“Decide! Collar, or creative punishment.” 

“N-No!” His gaze locked on him and Helix felt like a rabbit caught in a snare. “W-What time did it go up?” He tried, inching back toward the desk as he chased him. 

“You know-” 

“N-no, I don’t!” Helix grasped the logbook and flicked to yesterday as he played keep away from him. “L-look, I was meant to be there.” Helix jumped a bit as he got closer, looking at the page. 

“And you smithed that day?” His voice was lower again, calmer. He wasn't about to think he was done just yet.

“Y-yes, I got off at four-thirty.” He shifted, looking up at him. “D-Did you ask the other guys?” 

“No.” 

“You… You might want to.” Helix whispered. “I’m… Known for smithing, Commandant. You know that. Everybody does." He looked down at Helix with shock. Helix tossed the book onto the desk, walking away and shaking his head. “You just wanted to be angry with me.” 

“What?” He spit. 

“Why are you doing this? I’m sorry! I didn’t want to be like I was last time but I was because I was electrocuted! You’re mad at me for being abused!” He could hear footsteps. “What is this doing other than making me dislike you?! Then you asked me to work with you! How do you think this is going to go? It’s obvious you don’t care about me!” He turned to him. “You make me feel like I’m insane. You’ve hurt me enough!” 

“Enough to make you hate me, yes?” He paused as the Commandant got closer. He stepped away from him. 

“It seems like what you want.” He hissed, turning and wandering up to the glass now, trying to stay away from him. He stared at the Spire. “Are we done? I've proved that it wasn't me."

“Your lack of obedience is going to get you what you asked for previously.”

“I have been obedient, and you tried to blame me for something that would get anyone else killed. Why would I ever follow you?” He grit his teeth, jumping as he clasped his shoulder. It wasn’t brutally tight, but Helix wasn’t going to squirm away. 

“Then I must correct your behavior until you do.” Helix turned to him, shivering as his hand shifted and brushed down his hair. “You have gotten better at lying. I am almost proud.” 

“I-I’ve done nothing wrong!” Helix cried. “I-I told you-”

“You were seen, coming from the building, a minute before it caught fire. No one was harmed. No one was inside. You. Did this. It is a perfect fit to your modus operandi. Now pick your punishment.” Helix froze, fighting tears. Why won’t you ever listen!? 

“Shock me.” Helix hissed, dropping his head. 

“Are you not afraid of the collar after what happened?” 

“I’m afraid of you, not the collar.” He looked down at his hand, picking at them. “I have dock duty in the morning. Please, hurry up.” He froze as the Commandant slipped his hand over his hair again. 

“I do not have to shock you, little one. In fact, I have the perfect creative punishment for you.” He flinched from his hand, stepping back. He looked up at him, watching that predatory expression flicker over his face. Helix sprung back, trying to flee as the Commandant lunged after him. He managed to snag his wrist and yank him back, pinning him back to him as he held his arms tightly. He looked down at the men working on the docks. He felt as small as them.

“P-please let go.” Helix flinched as he placed his hand onto his chest and flicked open a button on his jacket. 

“No!” Helix cried, viciously squirming and trying to leap away from him. He clamped down on him with an arm, further opening his jacket. Just like a damn snake.

“Still wearing this, I see.” He hummed, completely ignoring how hard Helix was fighting him. He shivered as he brushed his hand down the tank top on his chest. Helix looked forward, desperately trying to ignore him. He looked down, sharp pain in his head reminding him that he was standing in front of a window. Helix threw his weight back into him, thrashing. He wasn’t getting anywhere against a man that stood over seven-foot.

“LET ME GO!” He screamed, ramming his heel down on his foot. He planted Helix down and held him until he was taking shaky breaths and whimpering. 

“Calm down, Helix. It is okay.” He jolted as he pressed his mask to the side of his head in a mockery of a kiss. 

“S-Stop being nice to m-me. Y-you’re lying, I-I d-don’t like this!” 

“Our talk the other day has me convinced that all you desire is that I am gentle with you.” Helix’s heart was skipping dangerously, a dusting of coral over his face. 

“I-” He froze as his hand continued to gently slide up and down his chest and stomach. 

“I am willing to deliver, Helix. You are worth it.” He hated how that sounded from him. He sounded genuine. “I know well that you are innocent, even naive. But if you would simply give in to me, I will ensure you are well taken care of.” 

“W-Would you b-believe m-me anymore then right now?” Helix spit, his nerves igniting. 

“You were caught. Own up to it, and promise me you will behave and I will be at your disposal.” 

“I’m not lying!” Helix hissed, looking back at him, “W-Why won’t you trust me? I’ve never lied to you!”

“How am I expected to believe you against multiple witnesses?” The Commandant brushed his fingers over his naval, his middle finger swirled in a circle. “Give in to me, Helix.” He glared up at him. 

“No.” He snarled, looking back at the Spire. Helix jumped as he dropped his hand further, palming him through his uniform pants. It felt like his brain broke. He- He would never. He had to be imagining this. 

“Do I have your attention?” He rasped against the side of his head. He stepped back into him, could feel his slightly elevated breathing, and how his other arm tightened on him. 

“I want to be s-shocked!” He gasped, snapping his eyes shut as the Commandant brought the hand on his chest up, over his throat, and slipped his thumb over Helix’s lips. The care of ensuring his claw didn’t gouge him as he shook and the gesture itself left him quiet again. 

“Truly, do you wish to be? I would be cross to harm what is mine.” Helix jumped as he dipped his hand inside his trousers, pulling them down enough to free his erection. “Would you rather me shock you?” He asked. His hand brushed down, slipped back up. He looked down, remembering a window was in front of him. His fingers clawed into one of the Commandant’s thighs. He pushed back against him as much as he could. Nothing he did would make him move away from the glass. A small chuckle danced over his ear. “Do not be scared, Helix. They cannot see you.” He twitched, a breathy,

“How do you know?” Left his lips. 

“I would slaughter them if they did.” Helix swallowed, brow furrowed. “Hm.” Helix gasped as he twisted his hand, flicking his thumb over the head of his cock. 

“Does that feel good?” He turned his head away from him, panting now. “Answer me, little one.” He whispered. He fought pleasured noises, working his lip with his teeth. 

“N-No.” Helix rasped, relaxing a little when he let go of his dick. He jolted as he slipped his hand back down his cock, lubricated now. 

“Perhaps I should try harder then.” 

“I-I… N-no, um-” Helix flinched as he slid his hand up under the tank top. His stomach sucked in as he brushed his hand up to it, desperate to shy away from the strange, pleasant feeling. The rhythm was slow, torturous, as the rest of his touch was. He could feel him staring down at him, taking in the sight of Helix’s form struggling to give him nothing. He was sure he was getting off to it. His eyes snapped shut at the thought of the Commandant getting off to _him_. The loss of control, the unwilling exchange of power. His hips jerked into his hand once, as he stilled completely. What are you doing, Helix?! Keep your head!

“Again.” He breathed in his ear, as Helix flinched, thrusting into his hand again more on desire than being told. No, you don't get to have fun with this, this isn't good! “How adorably perverse, good boy.” 

“Ah!” Helix grasped his wrist, not realizing the change in weight and how the Commandant was mostly holding him up. Stop talking. Quit touching me! Quit using something that should be fun, enjoyable, sacred against me! Helix whimpered as he forced him to rest his shoulder onto the glass, pressed right against him as he ran his nails ever so carefully over Helix’s thigh, his other hand quickening its pace. He swore the Commandant would be able to hear his heart, maybe he did.

“Do you enjoy being pinned, Helix?” He purred, gently squeezing the base of his cock. “It seems as though you are having a difficult time not climaxing.” He tried to squirm away, but the Commandant leaned on him more, forcing him to stay where he was. 

“I-I’m s-sorry, I-I’ll never m-misbehave a-again!” 

“Do not make promises you cannot seem to keep, Helix.” He whimpered as his hand on his thigh tipped his head back, forcing him to look at him. “For someone so aroused by praise, you certainly do love to misbehave.” Helix turned pinker, face stricken with surprise. 

“I-I’m not l-lying, I didn’t s-set that b-building on f-fire.” He tried to keep his voice from catching, from his body buckling. He let go of his face as he slipped his hand back down his chest. He was beginning to labor for his breath. Please, for the love of God don’t force me to cum in front of you. He startled as the Commandant pressed his face into his shoulder and throat. Helix tried to focus on the cold glass against the left side of his face. 

“Very well, if you are so inclined to behave from now on I suppose I have no reason to not give you what you deserve.” Helix’s mouth dropped open just a hair as he slicked his large hand down his cock far quicker than before. “So precious, such a cute cock attached to a cute boy.” He would have never expected him to say something like that. Tiny moans left him as he struggled to keep himself from letting the Commandant win. “Such a good boy.” He praised, gaining a sweet mew from Helix. He tried to clutch at the glass, his fingers slipping as his head was surrounded by a halo of condensation. “ **My** good boy.” Helix whimpered around his pointer and middle finger as he slipped them into his open mouth. His tongue flicked over the underside in reflex and he bit down gently to try and muffle himself. His toes curled against the soles of his boots as the Commandant rocked his fingers into his mouth. He could hear the Commandant groan quietly as he rubbed the pads of his fingers over his tongue gently. He huffed, pulling them free as Helix gasped. 

“N-no…” He whimpered, biting his lip again as he tried to dig his fingers into the glass. He took Helix’s hair into his hand, the fingers controlling his head. “S-Stop-” 

“You look so lovely when you know your place, Helix. Would you like to climax?” He was not letting him have that privilege if he was going to give him the choice. Not that he had with his punishment. “If you do not answer me I will leave you wanting.” A tiny, skippy gasp left him as he forced out, 

“N-no! I d-don’t want to!” A feeble hand grasped his wrist as he stroked quicker, a breathy moan leaving him. 

“Did you sabotage the building?” 

“N-no! I s-swear, you k-know I w-would be h-honest!” He jolted as he let go of his dick first. He watched Helix lean onto the glass and try to catch his panicked breath. 

“I do not know who to believe, but I certainly would be cautious if I was you, Helix.” Helix fixed his clothing, refusing to turn to him. “I have given you something to think about, yes?” Helix nodded silently. “You will not climax tonight.” Another quick nod. “I was incredibly lenient with you, Helix. Remember that for the next time you wish to tell me you hate me.” Helix flinched, a quiet,

“Y-yes, sir.” Leaving him. 

“Dismissed.” Helix turned around him quickly and sprinted from the office. He ignored the looks he caught as he sprinted back to his brig and dipped into Bob's bunk, hiding behind the bigger man's prone form. He looked at him oddly, but let him lay his head on his chest and rubbed his hair. 

"Hey, kiddo. Bad day?" Helix swallowed, nodding a few times. 

"Real... Real bad." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, with the edit in place I'm actually really happy with how this wretched piece has come out. The next chapter is super fuckarooed! Yay!


	4. Reverence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: God talk, LEGIT Blasphemy, blame in all forms, non-con, self homophobic language, a tiny bit of humiliation but it doesn't end how the Commandant planned, lmao. 
> 
> All I can say about this is I haven't edited it heavily and I don't feel like I need to. I actually like this chapter in a detached P.O.V. I managed to capture a lot of emotions and it translated well, I think. I used real biblical quotes because I'm lazy and didn't want to make my own. So enjoy, I guess?

Squalls settled over the Spire. Winds howled outside the protective outer walls. Colossal waves crashed against the black cliffs and sprayed seawater as high as ship masts. Facing the right way, he could see the lightning strike at the water. The sound itself rippled across the open sea, bouncing around inside the Spire. The foggy, outright downpour left many unseasoned ships stuck in dock, and only the bravest of sea captains brought supplies or left. The ice was mostly gone, but now even the harbor was dangerous to navigate. Undercurrents ripped at the lower parts of the Spire. He turned, walking back toward 27, a small smile sliding onto his face.

“What else needs doing?” 27 grinned, flicking his hand out to motion at a clean dock.

“Helix.” It felt like such an odd thing for him to hear, it sounded concerned. “You are working yourself to the bone. More so than normal.” He could see lightning flash over his shoulder.

“Ignoring everything that's happened recently isn’t easy.” He muttered, sighing as the thunder above them rolled over like a chariot. 

“What is everything?” Helix looked up at him, his expression sickly. 

“The collar. The anger. I don’t want to talk about it.” 27 placed a hand on his head, sighing. 

“If I had it my way, you would never see him again.” Helix smiled weakly, laughing at the idea of him learning what happened. The Commandant would kill him, though. He was sure that just about anyone would die to that man. He was just too strong, even assassination seemed unlikely. “I wish for you to finish out today with an easy job.” He snapped a look up at him.

“B-But,” 

“I can see the stress plain as day. Allow me to help you. I do not need you for the rest of the day. Take a blessing-” He laughed a bit. “When you get it.” Helix tipped his head just a tad. “I would like you to clean the Chapel, I know that you aren’t religious, but I think it would be something simple. Something to give you time to think.” He nodded, 

“Is there anything that shouldn’t be fused with or moved?” Now he waved his hand.

“No, do your best with it all. Some try to clean it on the off, but no one ever thinks it’s important enough for a shift. Well, I do.” He grinned, nearly boyish and defiant. “And for today? What I say goes.” Helix couldn’t help giggling a bit. “There is a storeroom at the back of the altar. Press the wall next to it and it will slide open.” 

“I-I got it.” His visage slid, grave and he looked down at him with a sharp expression.

“And if anyone bothers you, retrieve me.” The face of a fierce protector. Helix nodded once. He returned to smiling. 

“Good. Have a good rest of your shift, Helix.” 

“Will do, you too.” He turned, waving and wandering toward the Chapel. He had been in there once before and only to speak to Derek who was moving the pews. He was such a damn tank. He would kill to be as strong as him. Even the Commandant might think twice about screwing with him. He turned, approaching the only elegant area of the Spire. The massive black doors were swung open and left the entryway dimly lit. 

Thunder crashed over the frigid air as he paused outside the Chapel. Creeping delusions told him that if he entered, his faithless body would pollute it. He shook his head, flinging the demeaning thoughts free. 

He was given this job to relax. 27 did this to be kind to him. He wouldn’t do him justice if he continued to think like an ass. If he was willing to help him, then he was sure he didn’t deserve any further torture. 

Even though he never felt that God had taken his side, he wasn’t doing it for them. He was doing it for the men that used this place to find salvation in such a barren situation. He crossed the threshold of the Chapel and found himself noting a difference in the air. It felt heavier. Ladened with emotion, but far less sinister. 

There was the weight of men who pleaded for their lives here. Men who begged to see their families, or plead for their graceful continuation even after he was gone. Now he was here, lingering down the aisle. To what? Plead for the same? Or would he ignore what could be, just to keep himself comfortable? Was his ignorance comfortable? Was the thought of something there but ignoring him comfortable? 

He wasn’t sure who they worshipped here. Maybe many, maybe one. He had enough issues with his own perceived religion that he didn’t know many from Albion. All he knew was that Avo’s name was taken in vain often. His fingers slipped over the smooth surface of an oak pew. His eyes traced the massive woodworkings. Why was this place so empty when it was so nice? His gaze flicked up to the familiar craggy black walls, jutting out and creating ornate pillars that the Spire’s banner hung from. Three red banners shifted in the turbulent, cool air. 

Wall carvings mimicked stained glass windows. Differing depths and will power that flooded the walls gave a sense of value, and a holy glow. 

The steps were opal colored, leading to a blackened floor that was covered in some type of red rug that was stamped in a gold rune. The table in the front was obviously for things that were happening mid sermon and was left empty. 

The back table that was against the beautifully carved wall was littered in artifacts. Four, two and a half-foot candle sticks held massive pillar candles that burned dull. They were nearing the end of their lives and definitely needed to be changed. A thurible sat abandoned on the table with incense and a discarded rosary. Right in the center was the holy book, resting on a book support that seemed like some type of gemstone. Maybe onyx? It was inky, but not textured like the walls. 

The book was dusty and obviously hadn’t been turned. The priest likely didn’t need it, still needed to be brushed off. Maybe even turned to a page Helix liked. The farther part of the table held a ceremonial dagger and stone sigil. On the end of the two tables on the left was the stoup, lacking most of the water that should be glittering inside it. A pure silver aspergillum rest on the corner of the bowl. As funny as it was, Helix felt this place was as abandoned as he was. 

He brushed his hand up and down his arm as his comfort was beginning to return. It was odd, but he didn’t feel like he was invading. Just that he had eyes on him that questioned why he was there. He didn’t want everything fixed for him, but he wished that he didn’t feel so isolated. Wasn’t that what God was for? 

Feeling connected to something so powerful even when he was being torn to shreds? Yet he felt suffocated, he could barely survive no less live according to God’s will. He let himself continue, turning back and placing a hand to the wall beside the altar. The wall clicked back and rolled to the side. Maybe he wasn’t made for God. Maybe God wasn’t made for him. He stepped inside. 

First and foremost, those candlesticks need to be changed. He was grateful that there were many of them, all crammed into a box in a corner. He pulled four, taking them back out to the first altar table and placed them down with a sigh. They were just as big as the sticks that would hold them. He quickly took matches, the broom, and a dry rag as he walked back out. He removed the artifacts from the table and placed them on the one behind him. He looked up, shaking his head. 

“Needs to happen. Sorry.” He popped off his shoes, about to jump onto the Altar. He looked over, shifting and sidestepping a few times. He dipped two fingers into the sad amount of holy water left and blessed both of the bottoms of his feet. There, I feel a little better. He jumped up, blowing out the candles and removing them piece by piece. He placed them down and brushed off the window and whatever he could reach with the broom. He smiled a bit as he jumped down, wiping off the counter and the silver candlestick holders. 

His mind wandered. In these quiet moments, he wondered what God’s plans were for him. If there was one, what would they want from his life? He would ask himself what he wanted, but he knew enough already. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if someone gave him freedom, but he wanted it. He knew that he had betrayed himself for the sake of what he thought was right. And he could say that he didn’t believe it was right any longer. Why did he have to come if Blade was going to do everything asked of him? He wondered if it was his way of torturing Helix for not doing everything he asked. Watch him thrash in agony with a quiet grin.

If God was going to let Blade and now the Commandant torture him, allow them to go unpunished, why should he give them his worship? He placed the last candle back and lit it. He hopped down, impressed with how much better they looked. He gently brushed off all the artifacts and put them back. He took the heavy book into his hands and brushed it off, looking it over. He placed it onto the book support and felt his thumb over the closed pages. Something felt right and he cracked it open, brushing his fingers over the parchment. 

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens the face of his neighbor. 27:17.” It didn’t fall flat to him that 27 was in the number. “Ominous.” He mumbled. It seemed like it was meant to be positive, but like most things he found in religion, it left a bitter taste in his mouth. He decided to leave it. He turned, soaking up the scant amount of holy water left in the stoup. He crouched, washing off the stem and base and curled in the dust he caught and washed off the front altar table. He vanished into the back room, throwing out the towel. He picked up a jug labeled ‘holy water’ and shrugged. “I mean, I guess.” He refiled the glittering blow and brushed off the aspergillum. He swept up whatever was left on the ground. He caught something, picking it up and looking at the small vial. He popped it open and sniffed it. 

It smelled harshly of herbs. He corked it again and put it down, looking at what was on his fingers. Holy oil, likely for the dagger. He brushed it between his fingers, exhaling. He placed back the dead candlesticks and grasped another rag. He walked back out, looking up at the work he did. Way better. A smiled a little. It felt like he did something that actually might matter. 

He heard a heel click as he looked over. His heart dropped and he grit his teeth. With every step, that long shadow reached for him. Even in a holy place such as this, Helix could still feel the steel cold touch of his skin. He ignored the threat, walking toward the far side of the Chapel. 

“Commandant.” He greeted, plainly. He hopped up onto a pew and began brushing off a pillar and the banner on it. 

“I did not take you for a religious boy.” 

“You don’t know much about me, no.” Helix replied, continuing his work. 

“Your anger is tangible.” He looked down at him as he stepped up beside him to watch him clean the banner. They were almost eye level. Helix startled, nearly falling off the back of the bench.

“Why are you here?” 

“I wished to speak to you.” 

“You shouldn’t stay here too long, you’ll ignite.” The Commandant exhaled sharply. 

“Helix.”

“Do you believe in God?” Helix asked, jumping down and walking away, walking down further and jumping on a different pew to work on another banner. The Commandant followed him slowly. 

“No.” Helix hummed for a second. 

“Why not?” 

“I simply do not.” 

“Is it to avoid damnation, or is it because you truly don’t feel God exists?” 

“Further than tangible, your rage.” 

“You put your hands on me. You expect me to let you come close with a smile?” Helix looked down at him again. “I thought you were smart, Commandant. I don’t know what you expected.” 

“I expect you to do as you are told. I expect you to come to my office when you are hailed.” Helix narrowed his eyes. 

“That requires me actually being told to go.” He jumped down again, wandering to the furthest now, the Commandant still in tow. “I haven’t been told to see you since I saw you last.” 

“I sent a Captain.” 

“And has he returned to you and told you he spoke to me?” 

“No. He has not.” He looked at him. 

“If I’m going to know the process better than you, can I beat you for once?” Helix asked. The Commandant said nothing. He sighed, jumping down and walked back up to the altars. He threw out the rag again and grasped another, plus the broom. “I didn’t lie to you then, and I’m not lying to you now. I don’t know what has you thinking I can’t be trusted. You can’t be trusted. How do I know you’re not making this up just to screw with me?” He continued to work, seemingly unaffected. However, his skin was crawling and if he felt that it wouldn’t end very, very poorly he would have made a run for 27. His grip tightened on the broom. 

“You have done little to earn my trust, Helix. I gave it before because I knew you couldn’t lie. I am beginning to think I was wrong.” Helix laughed a bit, his teeth grinding.

“Little to earn your trust, huh?” He looked over at him, smiling as he rocked with the help of the broom. “Seems like you're pissed off.” The Commandant set his jaw and stood straighter. “Huh, can’t understand it. Doesn’t make sense knowing you’re in the position of power.” He continued sweeping, ignoring his tense form. 

“Did you disregard Captain 81?” Helix looked at him.

“Yes. I did. And I got electrocuted for it.” The Commandant stared at him. 

“Did you continue to do so after you saw me?”

“No, I didn’t. I have done nothing wrong since I _saw_ you.” He frowned, his arms crossing behind his back.

“Did you light the blacksmith on fire?”

“No, I didn’t.” 

“Were you called to my office today?”

“No, I wasn’t.” Helix stared at him. “Did you send a Captain after me, or are you just saying you did?” 

“I most certainly did.” 

“Then he didn’t get to me.” He finished his sweeping, placing the broom against a wall and began dusting the pews with the rag. He started as far as he could from him. But he wandered closer. 

“You must truly be getting better at lying. How could he have missed you?” 

“It’s easier than you think, Commandant. Your men, especially the ones you like, aren’t as wonderful as you think.” Helix turned to him, shaking his head. “I made a newbie Captain mad and now you’re using it to pin horrid shit you know I wouldn’t do to me. Why would I avoid going to see you? I know it would only get me hurt worse. Hell, maybe even raped against a window.” The Commandant tensed again. “I’m depressed, not stupid. You know that, but you aren’t questioning any of this because you want to use it. You want to hurt me more.” Helix shrugged. “I don’t need God to know you’re screwing with me.”

“You and your need to speak yourself into a grave.” 

“Can it be a grave this time and not you?” The Commandant snarled wordlessly.

“You act so ungrateful, yet when I touch you you certainly seem to enjoy it.” Helix glared at him wildly.

“Eat shit.” He spit. He couldn’t even think of an educated response. His heart began hammering, his thoughts shifting to a single word. Run. “How dare you even think I enjoy your touch.” He turned, continuing his work. He quickly brushed his hand over his arm to get rid of the crawling itch. Enjoyed? No. No, no, no, he didn’t enjoy what he did. Helix jumped when he grasped his jaw, looking down at him. His thumb brushed over his cheek. 

“See, you do not hate it when I touch you.” Helix slapped his hand away, glaring at him. 

“Seriously? You think just because I stood there I like it? I’m _scared_ of you, Commandant!” Helix shook his head. “It’s like you are completely removed from reality. I don’t understand how I thought you could be a good man.” 

“You never had this visceral reaction before the collar. You are angry, and yes, frightened. You’ve always been frightened.” Helix recoiled a bit as he brushed the back of his fingers down his face. “But you never treated me like this. I got the impression you rather liked me.” Helix tensed, spiked his hand away this time. Stop it! The Commandant finally dropped his hand. 

“I did. I thought that you would be reasonable at some point. You aren’t.” 

“I am reasonable, Helix. I attempted everything until _you_ suggested this form of punishment. Not I, you handed me something that works. I would be a fool not to continue.” Helix puffed up like a kitten as he took a step closer. “Besides, with how desperate I had you with just my hand, I think your practice in lying needs to continue.” 

“Get out of my face! This is a place of worship, not of whatever sickness is rolling around in your head.” Helix barked, turning red. “I didn’t like it, and I hate you! Leave me alone!” He leaped over the pew, swiftly walking out to the aisle and putting back the broom, cleaning up quickly. He touched the wall to slide it back in place. He turned, stopping at the top of the stairs. 

“Why must you resist me, Helix? You know you could have such an easier life, and yet here you are. Fighting me. You continue this game.” 

“Commandant, I don’t want to do this right now, okay? Can we just, please, for once, go our separate ways and do this another day? I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to play whatever fucked up game this is. You could stop at any time.”

“You are close friends with 274.” He watched Helix grimace. 

“So what?” 

“You know how well he has done. Yet you reject an easy life. Something tells me you enjoy this. You could not thrive without causing issues.” Helix bit his tongue and glared at the wall for a long moment. 

“I can’t thrive doing horrid things to people, so if you consider that causing issues, then yeah. You’re right.” He whispered, “I would have killed to be your ‘friend’ like Blade is in the beginning. But as time went on, I realized I would never be able to be on your good side and be happy with myself. I decided I would rather keep my mind than to become a puppet. I don’t enjoy this. I want to be friends with everyone I meet. I don’t like it, I don’t laugh about it. In fact, it makes me sad. But it’s not entirely my fault. You are to blame, too.” 

Helix was trying to keep his emotions held tight. He was sure he would never get the Commandant to understand, but it would be amazing if this was the time. Instead, he began climbing the stairs. Helix stepped back, scrunching down.

“So you are calling Blade a puppet?”

“Absolutely.” He hissed, backing away from him. He stopped beside the first altar table. 

“Come here, Helix.” 

“W-Why?” He whispered. 

“You will learn your place. Come here, or I will hunt you down.” Helix swallowed, shaking his head. 

“T-There’s no reason for this. I’ve done n-nothing wrong.” 

“There. That stutter. You are turning pink already. Lies on top of lies. Are you sure you hate me as much as you claim?” Helix recoiled, turning brighter. 

“T-This is a _chapel_! P-people pay reverence here, y-you can’t tell me y-you plan on…” Their eyes locked as he unclasped his hands from behind his back. The predator took a stance to lunge. He bolted, trying to hop over the first table like a gazelle. The Commandant caught him on his shoulder, yanking him back down to the ground and grasping his face in the V of his hand. 

“The church is a simple guise to take away the power of self, and their gold while they are at it. It lines the pockets of powerful men with stolen capital and unwarranted control.” 

“Sounds like you!” Helix spit, jerking his head away and trying to stumble back. He drew him right back, clutching him close. “D-Doesn’t matter. This place is sacred to people other than you.” Helix began worming around as he picked him up enough, marching up to the farthest altar table and setting him down on top of it. “I-I’m t-telling you r-right now, if you think I will e-ever forgive you for t-this you a-are d-dead wrong.” He tried to squirm free of his glacial grip. He pinned his wrists to the table and electricity jumped over his skin, effectively keeping him down. He yanked against the will power as the Commandant stood straight again, but he couldn’t break it. 

“You will never forgive me anyway, correct?” He struggled against the will power keeping his hands tethered to the table behind him. He watched him regard him with nothing but voyeuristic hunger. 

“C-Commandant, that shouldn’t b-be a reason t-to continue! C-Come on, pl-please, t-this is so fucked up!” He reached down, palming Helix again. He jolted, a sharp sound leaving him. “N-no, pl-please, s-someone c-could walk in-” He hummed softly, 

“Is it not the point to see something holy when attending a mass?” Helix faltered. 

“D-don’t you d-dare praise t-this situation-” He shuttered as the Commandant gently squeezed, 

“I am praising you, Helix. Not the situation.” He was struck quiet for a long enough moment that he could tug his pants down enough to free a leg. Helix struggled. 

“C-Commandant, pl-please. T-This is a-awful, I-I’m begging y-you!” 

“Perhaps you will think about your pleading the next time you wish to act out.”

“I’ve done n-nothing wrong!”

“Still, you continue to lie.” Helix glanced up at him as he leaned over, picking something up. He panicked, sure that he grabbed the dagger. He watched as he poured holy oil down his deplorable erection. He closed his eyes tightly, shuttering as he stroked him slowly. “You could not stop if you tried, could you?” Helix hissed as he stroked him quickly. “I can feel you shaking, Helix.” 

“O-Of course, I-I’m f-fucking s-scared.” Helix spat out weakly, eyes snapping wide as he felt an oil-slicked finger press against his opening. “No!” Helix barked, lifting his leg and kicking at his hip. It slid right off but he tried desperately anyway. “S-Stop! Stop it!” He grasped his leg tightly, his fingers under his leg as his thumb began rubbing over his pale thigh. He forced him to splay out further. His embarrassment kept him silent as the Commandant pressed a finger inside of him slowly. 

“And still you arch to my touch. I am tired of hearing you say you hate me.” Helix gasped as he began rocking his hand ever so carefully. He wanted to scream for help. He knew the help would just be slaughtered. He knew they would see him being assaulted and blame him. He was starting to believe ‘I hate you’ was a trigger phrase and saying it only got him deeper into whatever cesspool the Commandant was dragging him into. 

“I-I’m s-sorry!” Helix rasped, “P-please, l-let me g-go-” 

“How delightful it will be when you relish in this desecration. Come now, Helix, enjoy a cardinal sin.” He shook his head, trying to get his mind straight. He couldn’t understand why he was so gentle. It was confusing for a man he had seen chop people in two. He knew he was lucky, but for how long? He could tear into Helix and leave him to bleed out on the altar. He could do it with a flick of his wrist. Why was he always pretending to be kind? 

He knew it was because it fucked with his head. He knew the Commandant understood Helix was naive enough to think someone could change. Knew that pleasure was a motivator before pain was. He had suffered all sorts of pain, and yet would take that over this. His eyes snapped open as the Commandant leaned over him, brushing his hair out of his sweaty face. “Do you never wish to be a sinner, Helix? Or are you always so righteous in the eyes of God?”

“Y-You’re so fucked, Commandant.” Helix whispered, knowing damn well he was doing it to watch him. 

“Do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke. The Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:11-12.” Shock ran over Helix’s face. 

“Y-you’re quoting religious text to me?!” He cried, quieting down quickly. “You know w-what you’re doing i-is wrong!” He bit down a gasp as he slipped the pad of his finger around his prostate. “W-While-” He moaned, struggling again. “S-Screwing me i-in a sacred place?!” He hushed, shuttering as his touch only became more demanding the more he squealed. He cursed his nerves, cursed that they didn’t care who it was that was touching him. He had never felt so embarrassed, so crushed. 

“You do not seem as unappreciative as you pretend, little one.” Helix flinched into a small arch, a raspy,

“You evil b-bastard!” Rang from his mouth. 

“Blessed;” A tiny cry left him as his fingers coated in holy oil curled around his cock. Tainted, it ran down his flesh. “Is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. Job 5:17.” Helix hissed, whispering,

“You’re n-not God.” A whimper left him as his ministrations became further impossible to ignore. “Y-you’re h-hardly a le-leader. L-liar, you-” Helix rushed out, shutting his eyes tightly. Tears gathered. No. He refused, he wouldn’t get a chance to see that again. If he was going to steal all of these ‘firsts’ him, he wouldn’t get to see his tears. He never saved them, never thought anyone would be interested in him. Never subscribed to the idea of virginity and all the weight that came with it. But now that they had been stolen, he was bitter. “Y-you a-are far from benevolent or a-almighty!” 

He was silenced as the Commandant pulled his hand off his erection to clamp on the lower half of his face. Slowly, another finger joined the one inside him. He squirmed, trying to bite his palm uselessly. His fingers were far bigger than his own. Still, he was incredibly gentle, overly patient. 

Gently, he pulled them apart just enough to make Helix squeak behind his hand. He heard two officers walk passed the opening of the Chapel while talking to each other. Neither came in nor even looked that way but it froze him to his core. He pulled his hand from his face, looking down at Helix with a tipped head as he laid there completely silent. Panting desperately. This wasn’t working, being defiant wasn’t getting him anywhere. 

“P-please stop! Pl-please!” He tried, fumbling for his best pathetic expressions. 

“Yes, it would be rather unfortunate for you, would it not?” Helix shivered sharply, swallowing down gasps as his fingers brushed up inside him. He squirmed, his eyes closing. He hated that he seemed to be good at eliciting his reactions. “Someone seeing you pleading with me, rutting down on my fingers. It would ruin every ounce of your precious reputation.” He leaned over him, inches away. His deep voice rumbling through him. “What would your friends say, little one? Seeing you so frenzied for my touch?” He pressed his fingers up, thrusting them gently while quickly stroking him. A desperate keen left his mouth as he rolled his head to the side. “Perhaps that is just what you need, Helix. You refuse to learn your place. Will it take all the Spire knowing you are mine to get you to behave?” No. No one else could know! He wasn’t a fag! He didn't want to go to Hell!

“I-I swear, I d-didn’t do anything!” He shattered, tucking his face in his other arm as he sobbed loudly. He continued even though the Commandant pulled away from him sharply, the electricity surging around his wrists vanishing. Helix dropped down the front of the altar. He held himself tightly. Droplets hitting the rug and soaking in. 

“You are not lying.” His voice was low, the closest he had ever heard him to regretful. He fixed his clothing quickly, standing up with the help of the altar.

“Why won’t God protect me from you?” Helix gasped, looking at the book beside him. His eyes flicked to the closer candle. “I don’t need a God!” He grasped the base of it with an iron will and held it like a bat. Tears flung from his face as he spun, screaming wordlessly. He drove the silver stick into the side of the Commandant’s head with all he had. “You _fucking_ rapist!” He howled, control wavering as he wondered if someone heard. He stumbled back, holding his head and flinching.

“I should have listened to you-” He gasped, touching a cut the oddly shaped weapon left. 

“You perverted monstrosity, you should have thought of that before you touched me!” 

“Helix-” He jolted in shock as Helix charged into him, swinging the stick with all his might into the side of his knee. A cry of genuine pain left him as he crashed to the ground. He loved it when he was wrong, lifting the mace-like weapon to kill. He stepped over him, 

“Give me grace!” He cried, swinging down viciously. The silver buried into the ground as he narrowly missed his forehead. It clattered against the floor loudly as he was dragged toward the entranceway. “Why are you protecting him?!” Helix screamed at the random grunt holding him tight. He looked terrified, struggling to hold him down. “Why aren’t you helping me?! GET OFF ME!” Helix screamed, punching him in the jaw. He took it, holding him still. 

“BOB, FOR FUCK SAKES! BOB!” He screamed, tucking his head to the left as Helix tried to strike him again. 

“GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME!” He shrieked, a sharp, “No!” Leaving him as someone else grasped his arm. 

“Helix, Helix-” He looked up at Bob, planting into the older man and sobbing wildly. His large, heavy hand soothed over his hair as he tried to calm Helix down. “Get the Commandant up.” He muttered to the grunt. Helix looked up at him as he looked down at him. His amber eyes sparkled with fatherly concern. 

“I am fine. Simply in shock.” The Commandant’s voice made him wince. 

“Helix, what happened?” He whispered. 

“I-I don’t…. I d-don’t want to t-talk about it.” Bob engulfed him into his bulk, cradling his head in his shoulder. 

“Alright. Okay.” He was silent now, limp in his grip. “What in the hell happened?” He seethed. He had never heard Bob ever lash out. 

“I pushed too far with a punishment that was not his to take. It was my fault, I should have listened to him.” The grunt above him looked at him strangely, and he snapped a sharp, “Do we have a problem?” 

“No.” He offered his hand to help the Commandant up. 

“I am fine.” He turned, walking back to them. 

“Didn’t want to help him anyway.” He looked down at Helix, who was still breathing heavily. His entire body seemed to tremble. 

“I’m sorry.” He rasped to him. “I-” 

“It’s good, I guess if you’re hit more your bones grow back stronger?” Bob shrugged, muttering.

“Fuck if I know.” He looked down at Helix. “What do you need?” 

“Come with me.” 

“Alright.” He looked over at the Commandant who had sat up, looking at his leg. “Do me a favor, Commandant.” He looked at Bob with nothing but venom. “Tell my Captain I won’t be going back to him tonight.” He turned, making Helix go first. 

“Number.” He growled. 

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” He snarled back. He walked out with the grunt and Helix, nodding to the grunt. “Do me a genuine favor, go to 43, tell him that Helix got injured and I took him to the medic.” 

“Gotcha.” 

“S-Sorry, again.” Helix gasped. 

“Don’t worry about it, kid. I know who to go to if I need back up.” Helix forced a smile, nodding. 

“Y-yes, sir.” He paused, his fear worming to the surface. “H-how did you know?” 

“I heard some muffled screaming. Couldn’t hear what was said, but I could **hear** you. You’re pretty loud for somethin’ so tiny.” 

“H-Hit pretty hard, too?” He asked. 

“Damn well, I’d say.” He replied, smiling. “David, nice to meet you.” 

“Helix.” 

“Cool, cool. Alright, get to it boys. I’ll see you later.” 

“Night, Dave.” Bob muttered, taking Helix’s shoulder and leading him toward his bunk. Nothing was said, and Bob’s face was completely straight. He looked distant, and deeply lost in his thoughts. Helix let him contemplate, turning into his bunk area and watched with shock as Bob kicked everyone out. No one questioned him, must have been that sharp look on his face. 

“What happened?” Helix froze. No one would ever expect him to do what he did. Or at least, Helix hadn’t. Still, he didn’t want people knowing. What would they do? What could they do? It would only upset them. And. _He reacted_. Like everything else, if he could just keep himself still the Commandant wouldn’t do it. He was right, he handed him something that works. Why wouldn’t he use it? He did challenge the Commandant to spank him. Maybe he didn’t mean for it to be acted on or spiral out of control. If he had just kept his mouth shut. If he had just done what he was told. 

“He. Was blaming me for the fire.” 

“What? That doesn’t make a lick-a sense. You would have done it at night.” Helix nodded once. 

“I… I told him that. He thought because no one was hurt, that I cleared the building, then lit it up. There were people that claimed I was there and smelled like gunpowder.” 

“He’s a fucking moron. It’s a forge.” Helix shifted, watching Bob frown tightly, his mouth almost a parabola. “He just really upsets me sometimes, I don’t get the way he thinks.”

“I’m… Not going to disagree. I think he’s just… Really mad. Five years of me annoying the piss out of him.” 

“Doesn’t matter, he signed up for this when he became what he is. If he can’t handle it he should retire. Why were you screaming?” He froze again. 

“I barked back at him, he got angry and… He cornered me. And he said some really awful stuff in my face. And, I cried. He said he realized I didn’t do it. I… I beat the shit out of him because I… I just was scared, I wanted him out of my face. Then you guys found us.” 

“He did more than corner you.” Helix didn’t offer a response and Bob left it alone for now. Instead, he went after the only other thing that could be worse. “Why did you come here?” He looked up at Bob who was shaking his head. “What do you want for yourself, Helix? Who are you? Why do you let the people in your life toss you around like a marionette?” 

“Just… Seems… Right.” He was silent after that, shuttering. He couldn’t explain why he did the things he did. It felt like instinct. Shame washed over him, the feeling of disappointing a father. He supposed he just felt safe there, in the misery. Where he belonged. He was told that his entire life. 

“You could have broken the mold so many times.” It was true, even though it was like acid to hear. He didn’t have to come here, but he did anyway. All in the sake of keeping the peace. Peace that was never fully benign. “We need to get you away from this place.” His eyes blew wide. “You aren’t like Blade, you might be near the same age but he thrives in this. He’s content. You are suffering for nothing. We’ll figure this out.” He looked down at Helix, shaking his head. “Maybe you didn’t break out before, and yeah, I understand why. But now is the time. You’ve got the fight in you still. Now we just need the right timing, the right people.” 

“Stand? Against the Spire?” He didn’t recognize his own voice. Tiny and feeble. He couldn’t do anything with heroes, he wasn’t strong enough. Right?

“Not the Spire. Him.” Bob replied. “Almost every man here would _die_ for you, Helix.” He paused, looking down at Helix. “That’s it.” Helix tipped his head. “You’re going to be the new Commandant.” He almost laughed. “Lucien. We can get to him through Cap 27. We just gotta do it at the right time so that the Commandant doesn’t hear about it.” He couldn’t believe that Bob was pulling a semi-workable plan out of his ass and shaping it into a balloon animal. “We could do this. Get rid of him and put someone in charge that would change this place for the better. Let the dust settle and then you go home.” 

“Or.” Bob looked down at him, looking pretty suspicious for a man who just talked absolute nonsense. “I change Lucien’s mind. And we all go home.” 

“Worry about you for once.” He spit. Helix did what he did best and challenged him.

“No.” Bob gave him _that_ look, the shame pulled at his insides, but he didn’t care. Who was he? What did he **_want_**? “I don’t want to leave without you and Derek, at least. I want to meet Lily.” 

“She’s moved on.” He replied lowly, “I’m sure of it.” 

“Bullshit.” He muttered. “And if she has we can egg her house together. Your house. Whatever.” Bob smiled a little. 

“I think we might just be able to pull this off.” 

“Let’s dream.” He pulled Helix into a fatherly hug, rubbing his back. 

“Alright, kid. We’ve got some shit to pull.” He was almost giddy, if nothing else it sparked something inside him. The Commandant wasn’t invulnerable, and he was going to be his downfall, on God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm actually turning this into something more than just venting stuff and it's kinda nice. I know this isn't the best of stories but I'm planning a couple happy things happening and it becoming a little more story-driven. I mean not a lot of people will read this cause it's a dead game and dead dove tags, but to those that do read this and tolerate my stuff,  
> Thank you. I really, really appreciate it.


	5. Restart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately(?), I don't think I'll ever finish this. It's hard to write when I'm not in a really bad mental space, and then makes that space even worse. I like the Commandant to be a gray character, but he's just a bastard in this. Which, yes, is fun sometimes, but I like him not being so cannon. Anyway, this is a redo of the first chapter that I was trying to do. I like this waaaaay better than the first one, but I just can't seem to get it to come around. Thanks for the support, for reading, all that happy stuff. There isn't anything in this chapter that really needs a trigger warning other than some nasty traded words, verbal abuse I suppose. Anyhow,  
> Stay safe and have a good weekend.
> 
> p.s. this is obviously not finished.

Misery sat heavily on his tired shoulders for five years. It felt like eons of hard lessons that he didn’t deserve to learn. The fear of having to persevere further abuse for what should be another five years lurked in the recesses of his subconscious. This game wasn’t fun anymore, this wasn’t the game he enjoyed screwing around on as a kid. He despised Blade for the crap he pulled, he hated Theresa more for enabling him. Shaping him into this ferocious monster that only wanted what he could consider revenge. Hated himself for not standing up to him.  
Though he did wonder what Blade was thinking revenge was. His quest was skewed and life habits didn’t translate as someone expecting to live long. It certainly wasn’t the dream that he had of living in Albion. A hero title didn’t mean a good person, another lesson he was taught in a twisted fashion. 

The Spire hummed with Will power. Lights and magic bounced around causing a gradient of shimmer to the air. The Great Shard teamed as it rotated, moving from floor to higher floor. Mini icebergs hissed and clacked against the walls of the choppy harbor. The ships bobbed and creaked as Helix hopped down the brow of the ship with a crate in his hands. He hit the dock and exhaled heavily. His breath fanned up through the chilly air like a cloud. He placed it down and curled his fingers into his jacket as he grasped a pry bar. He’d love it if the chilled dock didn’t make his frozen pant leg stick to him as he knelt. He knocked off the lid and began sorting.

His eyes flicked back up at the ship and noticed two more crate tops. He sighed, wondering why gloves weren’t uniform standard. At least his shift would be over soon. The uniforms never seemed to be enough, even new, and Helix’s was definitely not new. 

“Helix.” He snapped his head up, meeting eyes with one of the Commandant’s Captains. One of the ones similar to the original, but his tanner skin and lower profile appearance told of a “newer” model. He stood, allowing him to right himself and stop holding his hat to the shards on his head. Though they reigned in how the Captains looked now; the Commandant was in his own class. He brushed off the front of his jacket, giving him a warm welcome. 

“What’s up, Cap?” He was supposedly the 27th man to go through with the surgery and survive. Simply dubbed 27, he was one of the few men that did his job well and was reliable to be a fair judge. He still made Helix feel tiny, but he wasn’t much taller than Blade. He certainly didn’t have to duck through a standard doorway like the Commandant did. 

“Helix.” He looked up at his captain, nodding. He respected him deeply, often when others abandoned him for his defiant actions, 27 stood with him. He was known as one of the few that would resist the Commandant. He was concerned he was rubbing off on him, because he could become overzealous like Helix could. “What in the world did you do now?” His voice held a bit of humor, a bit of trepidation. He shifted from his left foot to his right. His eyebrow cocked at Helix with a shift to his face that read his lip was curling up under the mask. 

“Uhhhh.” Helix frowned. “Nothing. I’ve been good.” 

“Not what the Commandant thinks.”

“Of course not.” He huffed, sighing deeply. 

“You’re free, I will finish this.” He looked at the last few crates, “I do not know why, Helix, but I would watch your footing. He certainly wasn’t in the mood for joking.” 

“Is he ever?”

“He’s not going to tolerate much, I suggest being well behaved.” 

“Great.” He walked away before anything else was said. The cullis gate glittered in front of him, blue light and warmth radiated from it. He stepped inside after a hard inhale and a rough yawn. He thought about soaking up some heat but his foot tapped against the frigid office floor. He wandered toward the base of the stairs in the Commandant’s office, crossing his arms over himself. He glanced down at the tattered jacket he was wearing as the Commandant’s pen scratched over a report. He was going to have a field day with Helix wearing something so out of code. 

His eyes lifted as he heard the Commandant finish the paper with a signature and locked eyes with him. He wondered if he signed it with his name. He never looked before. His snowy eyes narrowed sharply and he sat impeccably straight. 

“Why must you do this?” Regardless of the obvious body language, his voice was aloof. The baritone rolled across the room, but wasn’t thunderous. He was beginning to feel the effects of acting like a hero when he was not one. He sifted through his foggy memories as quickly as he could, though he was sure the Commandant would sit there until he said something. He pressed his lips together, then shrugged. 

“I haven’t done anything wrong.” The Commandant almost seemed to reel in shock. “I-I haven’t!” Helix repeated, losing a little confidence. What was he missing? He stood, marching toward the window with nothing but a gesture to follow him. He scurried up the stairs after him and said nothing. It would likely save his life today if he could just keep himself in check. 

“I asked you to guard the prisoners in cell block B.” He motioned across the Spire toward the brig he spoke of. Wait, what?

“Uh, Commandant, you definitely didn’t.” He blinked at Helix, raising both his eyebrows. 

“I am rather sure I did.” Helix turned, wandering to his desk and began to empty his pockets in search of his ticket for that day. 

“Don’t you have the master schedule? I didn’t get told to go there today.” He held out a slip for the dock that he worked today. He made no motion to take it and instead narrowed his eyes again. It seemed more in concern though.

“No, not today. Two weeks ago.” Helix felt his face pull into a surprised frown.

“In your perfection, you didn’t think to mention that?” He could see his eyes near roll, the tiny lines of his veins shifting.

“I was told moments ago, I thought you would catch on. I put you on that dock today, do you not remember?” Helix flinched. It seemed to all blend together.

“You should have been well aware the day I did it. The Captain on that brig didn’t want to deal with me, so he swapped me with someone. I did what I was told. If you have an issue, it’s Captain 58 you want. Not me.”  
“I wished for you to do it.”

“Talk to the Captain.” Helix replied, bitterly, stuffing his things back into his pockets.

“It does not matter what he wanted.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I did what I was told.” 

“You do what I tell you, only me.” Helix gave a sharp bark of laughter. 

“You’ve never told me that before, so what do you want?” Helix tucked his arms harder. He watched him turn toward him. He regarded Helix as he crossed his hands behind his back and tipped his head, waiting for Helix to speak himself into a grave. Helix said nothing further. Wrestling the Commandant whether mental or physical was a monumental task. He didn’t want a simple, true statement biting him in the ass. He chewed on the side of his lip.

“I believed it to be an unspoken rule. I know you understand an army’s hierarchy. I know that you understand you are my charge, not his. My word comes first." 

“Be honest?” The Commandant tipped his head back just slightly, his eyes catching a flash of the torchlight dangerously. “Would you have been pissed if I told him no? Would you really have defended me?” Helix forced a smile on his face. “Cause this is two weeks old and everything went fine. And I get the feeling you would have been angry that day, too.” The Commandant sighed, “But!” Helix chirped, smiling, trying desperately to be friendly. “Should be great to show you that compromising with your men is healthy!” 

“I should not have to compromise. He should not have put you in the position to say yes, you should have never done what you did. Helix.” He flinched harshly, gritting his teeth. In a fit of repulsion he cleared his throat. It felt stifling to speak to him. It was indescribable to have him say his name. 

The way he handled his men and treated those around him was unbelievable. Helix couldn’t call him insane, though. He was far too calculated. He did these things on purpose, even if Helix didn’t understand said purpose. He probably went through a host of awful things in his life but he was nothing but a miserable bastard. Helix had gone through it, and he wasn’t staring down the end of his nose at a man who was utterly at his mercy. Nothing but ill intentions running through his head. 

In the Spire there was a lot of time to muse, and Helix found himself thinking about the Commandant. He was a figurehead in his life until he died or escaped, like it or not. Often, Helix found himself desperate to try and figure him out. Who he was before this and why he was like this now. He wondered a few times if the Commandant was even loyal to Lucien anymore. Was this a passion project that simply took him over? If he simply took this job because he had total control? And at the end of the day, why did Lucien trust him so much? 

One time he saw them speaking. It was one of the few times Helix saw Lucien in the flesh. He didn't know what stopped him but Lucien snapped at him quite viciously and the Commandant laughed at him. A brutal look from Lucien only made him cackle harder. He had never seen the Commandant laugh like that. He was sure of one thing, the Commandant was a deeply troubled man with issues pouring out of the cracks he tried to slather closed with control. Those issues bled deep into his life, seeping toxicity down into his ranks, and perhaps even Lucien’s life, too. Helix was far from in the mood to screw with this today, so he shrugged and stated,

“Right, okay. Follow your lead.” He could see him pull a face, though he wasn’t sure if it was a good one or not due to the mask. He could see his jaw pull toward his right shoulder and tighten, his eyes snapping wide but brow furrowed. “W-What?” He asked, shifting. 

“Do not tell me such folly.” Helix grit his teeth hard, grinning like a hyena. The Commandant could harm him rather easily. A slap from the bigger man would land him on his side, crying. As furious as Helix thought he got him, still he had never struck him. Yes, of course he used the collar, but that or his furious barking would get him what he wanted. Helix let himself sigh, leaning on the desk as he thought about his next move. He could unleash, get shocked. Or try and make peace, and end up begging for an hour to be let go. He turned his head enough, tipping it back to look at him with a bored expression. Before he could even try, the Commandant spoke. “You wish to paint me as so brutal and unmoving. Yet here I am, speaking with you again. With my hands behind my back.” 

“Ooh, lovely. I can’t thank you enough.” 

“Helix.” 

“Stop. Using my name, please.” He spit, glaring at him. “It’s not friendly like you think it is.” 

“That is your doing. I would be your best asset if you would simply allow me to be.” 

“Best asset? What, for getting myself killed?” The Commandant looked down at him with narrowed eyes and shoulders that lost their square for a fraction of a second. Helix didn't know if he got bored or liked having these match of wits with him because he was smart enough to mouth off brutally or dumb enough to try. It wasn't funny to Helix. It didn't feel like a game. He was sharp with the Commandant because he was an adult and his horrendous policies and orders killed people. Lucien had to atone for so much, but he was a much better leader. Why put someone you disagree with in charge of your army?

"Cease your joking." Helix picked up a nail file, spreading his fingers and filing one. He had to have filed his huge claws everyday. 

"A shame you can't stop being a joke." He couldn’t help the smirk on his face.

"Helix." It was swift, his tone sharp. “I see you will take whatever is mine, but you cannot give me your attention for more than two minutes.” Helix turned on him, slapping the file down.

"Do I look like I'm joking, Commandant?" He spit, grasping the lip of the desk. "Have I ever joked with you? No! Because you are the most humorless jerk I've ever met. Trying to be friendly is an insult to you!" He could hear him scoff sharply. "You hate me," Helix pointed at himself and shrugged violently. "I get it!"

"I do not hate you." Helix shuttered sharply. He shook off the odd feeling and continued, 

"You got one hell of a way to show it!” He spit, glaring at him. The Commandant exhaled, shaking his head. “You'd never have to suffer again if you just put me under 27's care. He knows what I will do and what I do well. Then you could forget about me! Think about it, it would almost be like a vacation!" 

"I tolerate you well,” He turned back to him immediately, as to squash Helix’s idea. “If you would simply meet me in the middle everything would be fine." Helix scowled at him. "I allow so much from you, Helix. Not many get away with how you are looking at me." He couldn't help but feel a strange connection to Luke Skywalker. "Your little moral objections get in the way. If you would truly listen to me; you would make a powerful ally. Stop resisting and we can be just fine friends." 

“‘Little?’” He mocked. “Right, because mass murder is little! You’re a genocidal tyrant, Commandant! Earth to you, you’ve committed war crimes! My ‘complaints’ about you aren’t little!” A sharp chuff left him, a sneer bolting across his expressive eyes. He should be careful now, he was pushing too far.

"I do what I must." He replied, sternly. Though this time Helix could see something shift in him. He wasn’t sure if it was that Helix got through, or if he was lying to himself twice as hard. 

“I don’t care about your attempts to ignore your humanity. I need to go.”

“You need to do as I ask.”

“Then maybe you should be a better role model.” 

“How do I, of all people, not provide you with exactly what I expect?”

“You SHOULD be protecting your men, do good by them. Instead you harass the men that make you a little annoyed.” He watched him tip his head toward him, a snarling frown on his face. “You leave everyone scrambling over each other to get away from you! You cause your men to be so dysfunctional that they aren’t reliable, you screw this all up and get angry at everyone for your cold lack of true leadership! Then your men are scrambling around and looking for anyone that will give them something worthwhile. And you set your sights in on me because I care about them! Telling me I’m a failure every time you can-”

“I have never called you a failure-”

“Come on!” Helix hissed, throwing up his hands. “Pound salt, you stupid bastard!” He turned, walking down to the door and standing there with his back against the wall. 

“I will not let you leave.” He called over the entirety of the office. Helix shook his head. 

“You gotta sleep sometime.” 

“You are acting like a child, Helix.” Emotions raced through his body and out of his mouth.

“You make me feel like one! You tell me over and over that you listen and yet everything I say to you means nothing at all! You tell me you want to be friends and treat me like I am the most worthless person on the planet! I-” Helix ground his teeth and shut his mouth. “Let me leave.” 

“And for any other man you would be willing to stay and talk.” 

“You wonder why I don’t like you, it’s your snide bullshit like that! You know I’m upset and you can’t keep yourself from cutting at me anyway! Try an apology for once in your worthless life!” He exhaled hard, placing his head in his hands. Too hot, cool it. He tensed as he felt the Commandant’s finger tip his head up. Had he walked that fast or did he teleport?

“And yet you work with the most annoying and pestering man I have ever met, and you do so like it is a badge of pride.” 

“D-Don’t talk about Derek like that-”

“Blade. Derek is not worth a fake sheriff's badge.” Helix pressed his hand away. 

“He’s better to work with than you.” Helix pulled his lips tight, fake and plastic. He tipped his head just slightly. “If you want to be friends with people maybe you should just overhaul your personality and someone will tolerate you once in awhile.” 

“You take all sorts of abuse from that man, and you treat him like he is holy. I try to pull you away from him and care for you, and I am not even worth your time. Time you give every other moron on this island. All but me.” Helix recoiled a bit, muttering,

“Jealousy isn’t a good look on you.” A chill ripped through him as the Commandant laughed, slow and soft. It didn’t sound like something someone else would do. It was odd, just like him.  
"You are mine, we both know this. I am not jealous." Helix smiled a little, leaning closer. 

"You are the most jealous man that I’ve ever met."

"I am not. Jealous." Helix could describe his smirk as manic and vicious. He seemed to be assured that what he said was the truth. But still, there was a lingering feeling of hate toward the people he actually loved. It was eerie and he swore his hackles raised.

“Oh, are you sure? So, if I listened to 27 over you, you wouldn’t feel anything?” He narrowed his eyes at Helix. “You talk about Blade like a jaded EX.” 

“I speak openly about him because he is not worth trying to come up with something clever.” 

“Commandant, I have been friends with Blade since childhood. I don’t know what to tell you other than I don’t think you are any better than him.” Helix shrugged slightly. 

“Yes, what a fool I am. You adore it when someone strikes you. I should simply step back and allow it.” Helix inhaled, exhaled slowly. 

“Maybe you should.” Helix spit. The moments that passed were the tensest and wired he had ever had in his life, no less with the Commandant. They stared at each other. 

“You are a fool, you are going to kill yourself before you listen to me and it is utterly sad. Especially for someone who cares so little for you that he would laugh if you were brutally murdered.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
